Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Second grade Satan

The year was 1965 and her name was Miss Garrett.  She was young and sported a very blond 60s haircut, you know the one--poofy with the big flipped up curls that lay above her shoulders--and mean as hell very strict.  There was never any doubt that Mrs Garrett was the head bitch in charge the one and only boss in her second grade classroom.

Back in those days, when people still thought that the earth was flat when elementary school was called grammar school, corporal punishment was a teacher's best friend THE acceptable form of classroom management and, most likely, Miss Garrett's sole reason for becoming a teacher.  She absolutely adored made swift use of this method for even the slightest infraction of the breathing classroom rules.  The particular method that gave Miss Garrett such pleasure was a ruler slap to the palm of any 7-year-old hand belonging to any second grader foolish enough to commit a classroom felony (including taking too many breaths in a minute, scratching an itch, or turning one's head in the direction of the blackboard too slow or too fast).  Miss Garrett would marched proudly towards the cowering 7-year-old and demand that he/she hold out their hand which she promptly grabbed by the 4 fingers--to assure connectivity with said hand--and slap the wooden ruler against the uplifted palm--from 1 to 5 times depending on the infraction.

The thorn in my side during second grade was George--the little George not the big one.  LG was a short little dude with straight blond hair and the devil on his right shoulder (no angel on the left side.  He gave up and moved on- most likely during LG's kindergarten year).  Our class was having a share day which meant we could bring one item from home that was special to us.  It was quite an exciting day as, back then, students were not allowed to bring any items from home that were not pertinent to the learning experience.  I, on that fateful day, brought in my favorite book at that time- the story of BAMBI.  Each student had a turn to stand up, show their item, make a brief statement about the item, and then pass it around the room for the other students' viewing pleasure.  Our desks were side by side in a huge, square around the room- when you handed the item to the right it would return to you on your left.  When my turn finally rolled around, I made my statement, held up the book and passed it to my right--on purpose because LG sat on my left and I was not about to let him be the first one to touch my cherished book- and sat right down like the good little soldier prisoner student I was.  Once the book reached LG's mitts, he immediately raised his desk top and shoved my book inside all the while wearing a smug little grin on his face.  (I know I was only 7 but I thought something like, WHATTHEHELL?).

"Give it to me." (whispering)
Silence.
"Give me my book!"  (whispering louder)
Silence.
"Give. Me. My. Book. NOW!"  (maybe a bit louder than a whisper)

LG took my precious possession out of his desk and handed it to me BUT HE DID NOT LET IT GO.  He had put a death grip on my book and I was one pissed off second grader.  I yanked that book out of his death grip and whacked him right-up-side-his-little-second-grade-head!  That's when I noticed Miss Garrett standing in front of my desk.  Wooden ruler in hand.  CRAP.  This was NOT going to end well.  At. All.

Miss Garrett's classroom policy was shoot first and NEVER ask what happened.  She was not the least bit interested in whowhatwhenwherehoworwhy.  NoSir-eeBob.  She merely took my hand and whacked my right palm with her torture weapon wooden ruler and then carried out the same punishment on LG which was totally unfair because all I did was get my book back and, IF I had to be punished, LG should have gotten way more than me because it was all his doing.

Now, what lesson did I take with me throughout my educational years from this experience?  First, take care of LG outside the classroom. Second, do not blindly trust authority figures to render just judgments. 

At least I had plucked the thorn from my side.  LG was afraid of me from that day forward!  Which means he wasn't as dumb as I thought he was.                  

28 comments:

  1. Oh that's so sad and totally unfair! I bet if we took a poll, most school horror stories occurred in either 2nd or 3rd grade. I've heard so many stories from people who still deal with stuff teachers did or said in those grades!

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  2. I hate those perfect haired witches.

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  3. I had a teacher like that in Grade 1!!! Mrs. Prue. She was as mean as He@#. Years later my father found out she had a nervous breakdown. No kidding...I think when you act that vile on a daily basis it's bound to catch up with you.

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  4. I had my hand spanked with a ruler in first grade for putting a tack in Eric's chair when he left his seat to sharpen his pencil. He sat on it and let out a yell, and I got caught. (He felt bad about it after--he knew it was all in fun.)

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  5. My witches had no hair. They wore bad habits!! Nuns.

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  6. Wicked 'ole bag! Teacher's can have profound influences on children and when it is a bad influence it can scar a child for the rest of his/her education. I had a teacher that hit me on the legs,with a ruler, if I was not sitting forward in my chair but he was such a good teacher I loved him.
    On the other hand, My geometry teacher said I was the dumbest kid she ever had (in front of the class) and that has affected me to this day.

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  7. Reminds me of stories Jim tells about Catholic school. I had Mrs. Gurtag and she hated me (well it's the way I remember it). She's make me sit out in the coat room for hours because I was always full of questions, always asking something. She's point and I'd go. At least you got to get a good thing from it, LG afraid of you!!1 YEAH!!
    Take care my friend and have a blessed night sleep.

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  8. Brenda Susan- you're probably right about that!

    Mrs. Tuna- It was rather confusing--perfect hair, young, AND hateful? LOL

    Marnie- Sure wish I knew something about mean Miss Garrett---just because I hope karma bit her! LOL

    Eva- I did something similar in first grade, though it involved pulling a chair out from under someone on a dare...oops.

    Barb- YIKES! We've all heard nun stories and they make mine seem like nothing!

    Shawn- I keep saying over and over that some of these teachers better watch what they say and do--and then I add that their grandchildren might be taught by one of these students one day.

    Julie- Yes, LG moved on to be someone elses problem! Yay!

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  9. i have tears streaming down my cheeks from laughing at this.
    I think we've all had a little george and a miss garrett in our lives. great post!

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  10. What a great story which has conjured up all sorts of childhood memories.I hope LG remains scared of you to this day! It was completely unfair of your teacher to give you both the same punishment. I'd have put chewing gum in her hair in retaliation. You also reminded me of the stinging ruler punishment I was given at seven years old for getting wax crayons stuck in the pencil sharpener. I can still feel the smarting - ow!
    My Mum had a hair style like that (actually it is still exactly like that - no further comment!)
    I've just logged on and read your wonderful comment you left for me -you brought a lump to my throat. Thank you dear friend.

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  11. Momma- glad you got a laugh! I would still love to smack Miss Garrett!

    Carol- I remember one girl who got the crayons stuck in the pencil sharpener....a big smack for her too by none other than-Miss Garrett. I still don't like that woman. And, you're quite welcome!

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  12. Sounds to me like teach was channeling her inner nun.

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  13. Michele- LOL! You might be right about that!

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  14. That's some teacher you had. So glad you showed LG who was really boss!

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  15. Wow! They never had the ruler slapping at my school. Perhaps it is because of teachers like her that the disciplinary actions have tightened so much in favor of the children. So much to the point of being rudiculous in my opinion. I should rephrase that though. I am not really sure it is in the favour of the children. Because of the lack of disciplinary actions.

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  16. Debby-I was so glad he didn't bother me any more!

    Denise- excellent point. I'm not sure why we can't find a way to discipline in the schools without raising our hands...the school our girls attended uses a positive rewards system. It works for a lot of kids but some of them just sit back and laugh.

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  17. Mrs. Pulaski, 5th grade, probably learned how to swing a ruler alongside Miss garret because it was 1964. My LG was named Curt and he wasn't mean to me, he was just a bad influence. He'd been held back in 1st, 3rd and 4th grades and was the only 5th grader I ever met who smoked!

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  18. Chip- You should see what 5th graders do these days- makes smoking seem harmless.

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  19. I used to have a teacher who loved the ruler too. I’ll say this for her, she always had good behaviour in her class. Although I’m not at all sure it was helpful to my learning.

    Well done you for sorting LG out!

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  20. Miss Garrett had good control also--but out of fear not respect! I was so glad when LG moved on the annoy someone else- what a pain he was!

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  21. My 2nd grade teachers name was Mrs. Roach (no kidding). She was the nicest, prettiest teacher I ever had ...until the day I ticked her off. She had no ruler, it was straight to the principles office for me.
    You make one simple comment about spraying her with Raid to your buddy Stephen and off you go...guess she was having a bad day.

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  22. Kipp- I was going to respond but I'm to busy laughing!!! You're a riot!

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  23. Sounds like we had the same teacher right down to the Mary Tyler Moore flip hairdo. (Not that I don't love Mary - Laura Petrie had fabulous hair)! Wonder what qualifications teachers needed at the time - probably a graduation cert from reform school.

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  24. I think you're onto something as to their requirements! Oh, I remember her hair---I watch the Dick Van Dyke show and loved Mary Tyler Moore--she had my last name! LOL

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  25. No rulers to the hand here. We just had to bend over the desk to be spanked with a paddle. Or we had to stand at the board with our nose in a circle on the chalkboard.

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  26. Hi, just a quickie to let you know I have a blog award over at mine The enigmatic, masked blogger

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  27. i had a teacher, Ms. Snow i could remember her red ruler that liked to slap at our palms. bad memory. rose

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  28. Hi, Pam. I had a 6th grade teacher who wielded a ruler for punishment. I think he was my least favorite teacher of my whole education!
    Hey, I'm going to link up with the Wednesday Words of Weightloss at Everyday Rurality. Saw there that you made a root veggie gratin. Any hope of getting that recipe? Loves me some root veggies.

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