Saturday, March 12, 2011
When people see me, I think they may see me as a bit intimidating. And it’s not just because of my height (5’10”) or my girth (elephantus) but mostly due to the fact that I’m probably not smiling. How can they possibly know what a wonderfully clever, sweet, funny, intelligent creature I am ---oh, wait…that’s my alter ego... How can they possibly know that I don’t really want to chew
them a new one their heads off when I am, most likely, sporting a stern look? What I am usually doing is delving into some deep, world changing, mind blowing thoughts (like what I’m going to put in the cart since I am in the grocery store without the list I spent hours making. Again.). Now this scowl stern look works both to my advantage and disadvantage. Most people don’t bother me when I look this way. And that’s great because…I don’t like to be bothered. Especially by sales persons. I really hate that. If I need suggestions or their help, I shall seek THEM out. [When you go to Tanger Outlet Mall? The employees in almost every store in there stalk every single customer like they’re going to rob the store blind. Unfortunately, I have yet to hold my tongue in these situations. It’s not pretty.] On the other hand, I might miss out on having a conversation with a very nice person or meeting someone who is related to a famous person that I have been dying to meet- I can’t really think of any famous people I want to meet but you never know. To be honest, it would probably be best if I just was not permitted to be out in public.
People never have a hard time hearing me because my voice tends to project. I should have been on stage-except for the fact that all I have is the voice that projects. No acting talent or stage presence whatsoever. The advantage is obvious. People can hear me when I have important, life changing topics to discuss like why my garden didn’t do as well as I’d hoped or how men cannot drive or what freaking color should I paint the bedroom. The disadvantage to being loud? People can hear me. Like when I say, “What the hell lady you’re NOT the only person in the store move your freaking buggy.” they hear me. Or when I park WAY out in the far end of the parking lot so no one will park near me and I come out of the store and someone is RIGHT BESIDE ME even though there are thousands of empty spaces and I say, “What the Hell? I park way the hell out here so nobody will park next to my car and some idiot parks right next to me!” just as the
idiot lady walks from beside her car and hears me. Of course, there are times when I WANT people to hear me. Like the guy who let the heavy department store door go on an elderly couple and I might have said, “What the hell is wrong with you! Are you a moron? You don’t let the door go on top of people!” Yeah, this is probably not my best feature.
I believe that most people would agree that I feel soft. Because fat IS soft and I have a lot of FAT. However, I am working towards changing that particular identifying word to hard because muscle is hard. Of course this is a slow process. Not just because of my age or my exercise choices---no. Rather it’s the lack of exercise choices. The strength training that I am very slack about performing. And the fact that I have been known to eat some chocolate (or a lot of it BUT, in my defense, they HAVE put out the Easter candy in the stores and it’s just SITTING RIGHT THERE in front of my face. I don’t WANT to put it in the cart, but I have no control over my arm that reaches out and my hand that grabs the candy and drops it in the buggy) and that I am not preparing foods like I should all combined with the fact that night time snacking has reentered my routine MIGHT have SOMETHING to do with the slowing down of the process of no longer being soft.
Hopefully, most people I come into contact with think that I smell clean. Never per-fumy or all foo-foo or anything like that. I am a very down to earth gal who is not into makeup and perfumes and all that. Admittedly, part of this is due to my extreme allergies when it comes to smells and make-up. It’s just like what happens when I smell smoke- if I smell perfume, I can immediately taste it and am nearly overcome by a terrible headache. And make-up? It make my eyes water uncontrollably. I used to be into some of that back in my college days but not every day even then. I just go the natural route…the earth mother look…the Idon’thavethetimeorthepatienceforthiscrap look…the whybotherI’mjustgoingtosweatitoffinallthislowcountryheat look. Plus, I know people who put way too much stock in having the perfect hair and make-up, the shoes and purses that match the outfits and go around judging others (and believing others judge them) based on their appearance and I really don't ever want to be categorized with this group. Of course, I also know those who are into all that prissy-girly-stuff just because they like it. And that’s GREAT! But it isn't me. Our two oldest daughters are like that. The younger two are more like me. And we’re one big happy family despite it all! Of course, the two younger girls are more athletically inclined as I was. Oh, there are times when we all get dressed up- like if there’s a wedding to attend (but I still don’t put on make-up) and we enjoy it. But most of the time my earth mother look rules. Hubs doesn’t like all the make-up either so it has really worked out well there too. Oh, but the shaving of the legs and under the arms? Yes indeed. I haven’t been able to go quite that earth mothery.
I’d like to think of myself as having a robust taste for life. That I go at it with the old damnthetorpedoesfullsteamahead attitude. That I meet obstacles at full speed without hesitation or doubt. That I endure through trials and tribulations to the victorious end. That even though I may come across as rough and tough, boisterous and even rude at times, what I really am exhibiting is strength and confidence. And there are times throughout my life that I can honestly say I have shown clearly that I have a robust taste for this life. But it’s not that way all the time. Let’s face it. There are times of self doubt and fear. There are times when the obstacles seem so incredibly large that I am almost certain they will defeat me. There are times when the trials and tribulations do not end victoriously or, when they do, they do so without joy. And there are times when I am simply being rough or tough, boisterous or rude. So I find that my taste for this life is robust with a hint of sour and a dash of harsh from time to time.
This is day 12 of the NaBloPoMo for March. The theme this month is: in a word. This is Thursday's prompt, which was: Describe yourself using different five words, one for each of the senses (taste, touch, etc.).