Sunday, September 9, 2012

My, How Things Do Change

I've notice that some things have definitely changed during these first three years of living in an empty nest.

The FIRST Year:
  1. I must take my cell phone EVERYWHERE (Yes, even into the bathroom) so that I won't miss a call/text from one of the lovelies.
  2. I can't bear to part with any of the stuff they left behind.
  3. I just cannot adjust to the quiet in the house. It's deafening.
  4. I am having such a hard time cooking for only two people. We'll be eating this all week.
  5. I hope they like this new recipe.
  6. I'm going to put out all the Christmas decorations so things will look the same when they get home.
  7. I have too much time on my hands. Maybe I'll re-read a classic or five.
The SECOND Year:
  1. I can call/text them right back if I miss a call/text.  
  2. I wonder if all this stuff they left behind will fit in the attic?
  3. It's so nice and quiet around here.
  4. I've cooked so much we'll have to eat this for a couple of days.  
  5. It's nice to prepare anything I want to make for dinner.
  6. Putting out all these Christmas decorations with no help is getting old.
  7. I've got plenty of time to catch up on my reading...maybe I'll go back and catch up on Stephen King.
The THIRD Year:
  1. They'll call me back if it's important. 
  2. I'm going to have a yard sale with all your crap if you don't get it out of here. I am NOT a storage unit. 
  3. Good grief this man that lives here with me makes a awful lot of noise.
  4. How did I EVER cook for six people?
  5. If they come home they can eat what I make or they can eat out. On their dime.
  6. I wonder if we can celebrate Christmas at one of their houses?  
  7. I can read anything now that everyone's out of the house---Fifty Shades, here I come! Seriously, I wouldn't read these things in front of anyone because everyone is privy to the cause of the intense blushing. :) 
The whole point here is, nothing that takes adjustment is usually easy. Some of it isn't even welcome. But, when we're faced with it, we just need to take it one day at a time. Rushing things, not talking about things, not facing our realities, etc. is not a good idea.

The time will pass quickly, even if the adjustment involves an empty nest. And, before you know it, you'll be quite appreciative of the perks that come with the kids being all grown up and out on their own. 

Most of all, don't forget to laugh!

What was the most difficult adjustment for you whether it was facing an empty nest or bringing home your first child?


  1. I understand every single one of these points. I now especially enjoy cooking for two and having lots of left-overs as it means I don't have to cook again for another day or two - (and no one complains!)

  2. That is a great bunch of lists. Not to mention to see how you changed in those three years. I really think I like the last list the best because you sound so much more happy with your lot. I am so glad you wrote this down,

  3. This was a great post - I can totally relate (my new WordPress blog is called "View From the Empty Nest" - my youngest left for college this fall, and I just wrote a post called "From Rush To Hush"). The hardest thing for me would be your #3 under the first year - the "deafening" quiet. I still find it unsettling, but I felt better after reading how things change for the Mama Bird :).

    Loved seeing the pictures of your "lovelies" - I have three daughters :).

  4. Had to laugh at this one! After getting use to them being gone sometimes they come back and it's like No Way! But I have to say after 2 1/2 years with my daughter and SIL here it's been pretty nice most of the time. Someone is always home with Skye and she has my grand dog to play with.

  5. 2nd year #3 happened about a week after the last left.
    3th year #3 - LOL

    Like many we went empty and had one return for a very extended visit. I wonder if moving helps.

  6. OMG! Your feelings mirror the ones I felt...LOL! Now, I love the quiet & can't wait to get home to "hear" it!...:)JP

  7. You are such an inspiration!

    My youngest started Kindergarten 2 weeks ago. Then last week I was had a hysterectomy have been recuperating.

    Lots of change in a short period of time.

    There's nothing to do but roll with it...


  8. Honestly, the biggest adjustment I've had to made is cohabitating with a man! I was a very happy single woman and the last thing I wanted in my life was to fall in love. At 38, I had decided to quit dating again because the men I was meeting, or not, were beginning to bore me. I'd quit dating for a little over ay year in 2004 and actually, I loved it; more time with my girlfriends and my nieces. Meeting my husband was the most terrifying experience because the attraction was just way too strong. I wanted nothing to do with a Mr. Right and here he was trying to tie down my heart! And I felt totally betrayed by my heart too.

    I moved in with him in 2007 and we got married at the end of 2008, another time I tried to apply the brakes unsuccessfully. Now I am adjusted and even able to enjoy the “mated thing.” But that’s because MY Mr. Right and I enjoy our alone time too. I still get my days of enjoying what I loved about being single, but I’ve learned to enjoy being with someone most of the time too. Yes, it takes time, but change is okay, even good!

  9. This was a cute post--and so true! LOL
    The hardest part of an empty nest for me was learning to cook for two again, the best part is being able to cook whatever I want to!

    I also read your review of 50 Shades of Grey. See, I told you #2 and #3 were better! Those emails along with the "inner goddess" parts were among my favorite parts, too. Funny!

  10. Kara- That’s one of my favorite parts- not having to cook every day!

    Kim- It has certainly been a process. I didn’t think I’d do anything but cry and miss them at first!

    Tracy- Thank you! I’ll have to come visit your blog! It does take time, but even the quiet becomes something you can appreciate. Aren’t daughters the best?!

    Debby- Glad you caught the humor! Having Birdie back has been nice –she’s our quiet one--but she’s moving out next month. It’s fine though as I do enjoy being alone.

    bill- I did have a hard time adjusting to the quiet. But as soon as I did, I noticed how loud the husband is. Good lord! Are all of you like that? LOL

    JP- Thanks! I know it’s going to be even more appreciated by me starting tomorrow when I go teach computer skills to elementary
    students. LOL

    Colletta- Thank you! Amen Sista! Just have to roll with it- otherwise, it rolls over us.

    Nani- Mine is on my last nerve just about every single day. I never noticed it until it got quiet around here. LOL I love your story! I’m so glad you found your Mr. Right!

    Kathy- Thank you! I think I’m almost there on the cooking. But it has been hard for me on that one too. I just have book 3 left to read but I have to wait for Deanie to finish reading it and mail it to me! ARGH! LOL

  11. I got used to cooking for two quickly, and now that the girls are back I have to re-learn to cook for 4 again....which is fine. For now. But I can't wait for them to be married and to get back to cooking for two. Once you taste it, you love it!
    I also love the quiet!!

  12. I was working when the nest emptied so I didn't really notice it all that much. It was noticeably quieter That was a good thing.

    Bringing home the first baby? Oh, my. I was so excited to be at home with my lovely pink bundle. Couldn't wait to leave the hospital. Biggest challenge was having to wake up at night and learn how to go back to sleep. I've forgotten how again.

  13. So your saying I'll get use to this? I'm not so sure yet Pam. I do take my cell phone everywhere. I don't want to change Mike's room. We haven't had a big holiday yet without him but Thanksgiving will be our first. I don't know Pam, I'm not to sure about all of this yet. Today was a hard day for me. It started out bad and went downhill until Jim took me by the hand and just did stuff with me. We target practiced, went fishing and a cart ride just the two of us and this I can get use too.
    I love you sharing all of this Pam. I can look forward to it, someday.

  14. My experience was pretty similar to yours. Then just when I felt I had it all down along came the grand kids. So now my cooking things only I want to eat has been changed to include having foods on hand the little one's will eat.

  15. No experience here, but I do like your lists. :)

  16. Sometimes I forget to do laundry : ) I think the hardest adjustment is facing up to the knowledge that this is life now...that they live somewhere else and only come home to visit now and again. As it should be but sometimes I just want them home lounging on the couch and tucked in to their beds upstairs.

  17. LOL. This was a great post. Funny how a little time changes things, isn't it. I didn't think I could adjust to a quiet house after many years of raising kids. But after the grandkids were here for 15 days, the quiet now, after they're gone, seems lovely. (but I wouldn't want it to be a permanent thing, either!)

  18. haha, i love this--i tend to see lots of things as movies or tv shows---i see this post on the screen :)

  19. haha, i love this--i tend to see lots of things as movies or tv shows---i see this post on the screen :)

  20. My youngest left for college a few weeks ago. My hubby and I kicked off our new empty nest with a much deserved trip to Europe. Sort of a high five to the two of us for a job well done.

    What do I love about this empty nest?
    I love the quiet the most!!

    What do I hate?
    Mowing the lawn. haha

  21. I haven't reached this season yet, but I think I long most for time to read.
    And to cook less. And wash up less.... ;)

    Truth be told?? I have already begun to *dread* this stage - my eldest is 19 but my 'baby' is only 9, so hopefully, I have a few years ahead of me yet!

  22. Oh, I missed this post. Anyway, I totally get it. AND, I got my first phone call the other night discussing the Holidays. My son is going to Argentina and leaves on December 26th,his boyfriend wants to spend Christmas day with his family so I get Christmas Eve. The first year my son won't be with me on Christmas day. I thought my heart would break but I acted like it was all cool. I swore I would never ever make my kids stress over the Holidays. It still was hard. I understand but still hard.


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