Sunday, February 10, 2013

Love Stuff

We're well into the love month. Though I've never understood why we need a month or a special day for love. Aren't we supposed to show love every day- regardless of the month or day? Right.

My whole take on the love thing varies from mood to mood. For instance, when I watch love themed movies I go between sobbing and going all sappy to being quite cynical. It all just depends. Of course, there are those movies that make me sob and get sappy regardless of my mood, like P.S. I Love You. Who doesn't cry during that movie?

But then there's Love Story which is the dumbest movie I've EVER seen in my life and contains the worse line EVER in a movie- "Love means never having to say you're sorry." BS Jennifer. It does NOT mean that and you are stupid for even saying it.

I'm the same way about pet names. I think they're cute or stupid- depending on my mood. There are, however, certain pet names that I find stupid regardless of my mood. Names like Sugar Lips. Poopsy Doodles. Lover Doll. What does that even mean? That she/he reminds someone of a blow-up doll? Ew.

I'm not much of a fan of love songs. Though I do really like At Last (Etta could sing a song, couldn't she?) and I enjoy Percy singing out When a Man Loves a Woman. I have no idea what the lyrics are in I Will Always Love You but Whitney could belt that one out like nobody else. Oh, and I secretly do like I Got You Babe.

What about love phrases? Like "I would die for you?" How utterly stupid. Unless, of course, it's spoken by Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Then it's perfectly wonderful. But "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is NEVER wonderful. It's never even ok. Or tolerable.

How about love poems? You know, the roses are red ones? I like the funny ones---

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My mama told me
To stay away from you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Make mine a double
If I have to spend time with you.

I like a lot of love poems written by those who understood it deeply or were deeply cut by it- Plath, Neruda, Shelley, Tennyson, Poe, the Brownings and so many more. I can't even pick a favorite. There  are just too many. But I mostly appreciate these when someone reads them to me. There's a certain seductiveness in poetry reading. When the right person is doing the reading.

One of my favorite quotes about love is from one of  my favorite authors,Victor Hugo- "How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said."

And then there is THE day. THE love day. When  we're supposed to go out and buy cards and flowers and candy and whatever else we up with. I'm all set with Valentines for  my students. And I'm nearly finished with the homemade ones for the lovelies.

The husband and I don't  usually pay much attention to the day. He always brought home candy for the lovelies and me. I asked him  for YEARS to stop bringing me candy before he finally stopped. Then he started bringing me a house plant every year (because his mother loved plants- problem is, I don't). And it took me YEARS more to get him to stop doing that. Now he brings home outdoor plants.

Ha. And Sheldon thinks HE has issues with gifting. 

It's really quite simple.Just take the time to know those to whom you are giving a gift. Maybe that's why some people  fall short on gift-giving. For me, a huge part of loving someone is taking the time to know them.

Anyway, the LOVE month is here. Do you celebrate?


  1. Hi Sheldon. My granddaughter loves that Big Bang Theory! She can't get it in France, so we watch a lot of it when she's over here!! I'm with you, in that we should show love all year round, although it is nice to have a special day. But, of course, the drawback to that is, that is has just become so commercialized. (Listen to me, I sound like a grumpy old woman!!). My hubby has always sent valentine cards to our two daughters, and, also, the eldest granddaughter. I did say to him this year, what about Ruby. But he said she is too young!! I will be making little cards for Eli and Ruby. I hope your Molly is starting to feel much better. I'm sure it has been lovely having her there with you. Hi Molly!!
    You're right of course, love should be about actually SAYING Sorry - not NEVER saying it. DOH! Oh well, I'm rambling on here, so I'd better close for now. Enjoyed your post today, Pam.

  2. Good Morning Pam, I think I like it because I can do red and white. I can make lots of pretty things with hearts. I love hearts, even my wedding ring is a heart. Do I think about that love garbage, Nope. It never comes into it. I make red and white cupcakes for my kids and grands. I try and make my husband's favorite meals the month of February. Just little things. I do little things for the kids. I really never want anything. In fact I always feel sorry for Men who get in trouble because they don't get the significant others stuff.
    Christmas is so full of have to's that I love February because I want to.
    The most romantic thing to me is In Far from a Madding Crowd, when
    Gabriel proposes he says, " So that in the evenings, by the fire, I will look up, and there you be, and when I look up, there I will be."
    To me in those few words says all that I dream about in life. Just the comfort of knowing I am not alone.
    I really need to email you. :)
    Have a wonderful day.

  3. We think so much alike Pam that it's scary!I am with you totally. Great post!

  4. There is an art to gifting and it absolutely does involve knowing the person well. The hardest people to buy for are the people we like a lot, but don't feel we really KNOW. Gah. AND, the people who have reached that stage in life who pretty much buy the things that they want when they want them... egads. So, yes, gifting can be really tough.

    I love all of your insights on this post.

  5. Wow! I'm with you, Pam! I, too, hated Love Story and that stupid comment. Love means so many things, including being the first to say you're sorry! And I agree that telling those we love how much we value them every day is much better than a card once a year. I'm doing a Valentine's day blog about my first Valentine from a boy -- which meant a lot to me -- but I've learned to value love as it is lived, through thoughtfulness and kindness day by day much more.

  6. I don't make any special plans for the Love Day as you call it, I don't decorate for the day. It's just another day to me. I do try to have something little for the little ones, but they already know I love them each and every day.

    Now what I do love, your funny valentine poems, those are my kind of poetry. Did you ever read Falling Up or any of Shel Silverstein's poetry? that was the only kind I enjoyed, anything for a laugh.

  7. We don't do much except I did send Mike a big package of candy, a card, teddy bear shaped soap and more candy. I do give Jim a card but a homemade one. Last year I drew my hands making a heart....cheezy I know but he kept it.
    Take care Pam and have a blessed evening.

  8. Diane- You're quite right about saying sorry. I've always thought that movie was dumb, especially that line. The husband always gives the lovelies a heart shaped box of chocolates. Now that two have moved out of town, I have to send them something. He never gets around to anything until the day of the holiday. Molly is feeling better but not all the way. She's going to have to stay here tomorrow. She should be good to go by Tuesday though. Thanks!

    Kim- Beautifully said. I used to do things like that for everyone but the girls are up and out and the husband is a grump. No rewards for grumps. LOL You should post a picture of your ring- I bet it's so pretty! I like heart shaped things too. You're right--it is the little things that matter.

    Barb- You know what they say: Great minds think alike. LOL

    Robin- Thanks! Yes, the whole gifting thing is crazy. My dad is one of those who buys everything he wants when he wants it and leaves nothing for the rest of us. I have to get really creative with him.

    Kathleen- I'll have to head over to your blog to read that post on Valentine's Day! Love as is it lived...I like that.

    living- LOVE (haha)Shel Silverstein's poetry! Hilarious! I did decorate my lab at school for the kids. But nothing at home.

  9. IM pretty much a scrooge at Valentines Day. Not sure why!! altho I do like chocolate! My kids get a package of goodies mailed to them at college.

  10. Debs-I can be one too. IF the mood strikes me. I always do the sending. The husband only buys things the day of the holiday which is not enough time to send things in the mail.

  11. I so agree with the last thing you said... it's true - if you know your person, you'll know the right thing to get for them. Love that quote from the poem... I kind of want to put that somewhere where I can see it every day. :) The closest I get to pet names are hon or babe. Cant stand those dumb sugar-sweet cheesy pet names. Deal breaker!


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