Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Perfect Parent

Simply does not exist.

No matter how hard we try. No matter how diligently we work. No matter how prepared we think we are--we are not going to be perfect parents. We just do the very best we can.

How much better would it have been, I wonder, if I knew all the stuff I knew post raising kids while they were growing up? Some things may have been better, actually. But not everything. And I still wouldn't have been a perfect parent.

I was ready. I was enthusiastic. I was learned. I was motivated. I was unselfish. But I was not perfect.

Sometimes, it may look like some parents have it all together and know what they're doing. They seem unfrazzled. They appear perfect. But they are not. They may be more experienced. But don't be fooled, they are not perfect.

And now, it's confession time.

Yep, I'm going to put a few of my mistakes out there for everyone to see.

I turned my back for one split second while DoodleBug was in the baby pool in the front yard and she slipped and went under. There was all of 4 inches of water in that baby pool and she was barely under long enough for her hair to get wet BUT, I still felt that I was the number one contender for the worst mother EVER award.

I was sweeping off the front porch one day and Birdie was out there with me. In her walker. She got too close to the edge of the porch and tumbled off into the bushes. Our porch is about three feet high, if that. She was fine. She didn't even shed a tear. Again, number one contender for the worst mother EVER award.

Then there was the time I was on the phone and suddenly realized Birdie was no where to be seen. I found her on the top shelf of her closet. She had climbed up there all by her 15 month old self. Yep. Worst mother EVER.

The time I told school I was going to pick my 1st grader up early (DoodleBug) and proceeded to forget to pick her up. Worst. Mother. EVER.

With raising four daughters, there were more mistakes than this. But y'all get the idea.

You will forget things. Your kids will survive.
You will make mistakes. Your kids will survive.
You will be too hard on yourself. Stop it.

Kids are way more resilient than we give them credit. Most of the mistakes that parents make are not going to ruin our children. We're human. Mistakes happen. They are a part of life. Kicking yourself over and over and over again and again and again is not going to change the fact that you made a mistake.

Learn from it. Forgive yourself for it. Get over it. And move on.

To the next mistake. :)

Seriously. Don't compare yourself to other parents who seem to be so darn perfect. Don't brow-beat yourself because you think you aren't perfect. Just love your sweet blessings and teach them to laugh. Everything will turn out just fine!

What are some of your parenting mistakes? 


  1. I am really enjoying watching my son be a parent. He and his wife are doing a great job and being a grandparent is awesome! I would give new parents the same advice I gave someone who asked my advice on being a good teacher - be flexible and have a good sense of humor!

  2. Suzanne- I am LOVING the pictures of your sweet little one! She is growing up way too fast though. Of course, that's the way it always goes. It's so nice to have fb so we can see how much you are loving this whole grandparenting thing! :)

  3. When Mike was about a year old (he's 32 now) I decided to give him his first haircut. I bought a good pair of hair scissors and proceeded to take a sliver off of the top of his ear. He didn't even know it but it bled and I felt like the worse mother in all the world. He didn't cry but I sure did.

    1. It's funny how different our reactions are from our kids. And we never forget. Thankfully, they do.

  4. WhAT A great post Pam, and great that you're not afraid to tell us these things. You are obviously still a top class mum, because just look how all your girls have turned out! When my youngest daughter was about 2, I was in a shopping mall, and just turned my back for a second to pay for something. I looked around and she was gone! Eeeek! My heart stopped for a minute. I went haring out of the shop, but which way to go. Luckily my mum was with me, so she went one way and I went the other. In that short period of time, she had gone past 8 shops and was sitting on a little toy animal outside one of the shops. We were lucky - she could have easily been taken. It doesn't matter how careful you are, these things are going to happen. Fortunately, we're all alive to tell the tale!

    1. Similar scares happened to me as well. I still remember that terrifying feeling. You're right. No matter how careful, things will happen.

  5. I had a conversation with my mom about this, because she said she felt like she was very impatient with us kids growing up. I told her none of us had that impression. I guess she felt impatient, and maybe she fussed some too, but we all just remember feeling loved. Love covers a multitude of sins : )

  6. I had it easy. I got my boys when I married their dad. They were 16 and 20 when I entered their lives. Their mom died of cancer. They were/are good boys who loved their mother, and for almost 30 years now, also love me. I am blessed, and I really had it easy.


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