I've been the Mother of the Bride twice now. No, this does not make me an expert. But it has served to give me insight into some important things to remember when entering into this important role. I never had trouble going in thinking I was going to make the decisions. When you have a control type parent, you tend not to be one yourself. (Though I am a control freak in other areas of life...LOL). But, as I have come to realize from having a bestie who plans weddings, there are mothers out there who do. To those moms I say, "GET OVER IT."
Did I think all of my girls' ideas were great? No. Did each wedding turn out perfect? Yes. Because it was their own, individual style. We've had extravagant to laid back and both were just perfect! And fun! So let your daughter have it HER way.
- It's not YOUR wedding. Even if your lovely daughter wants things that you believe won't work, it is HER wedding. Let her do it HER way. YES, even if you are paying for it. Besides, if you bide your time, she'll probably ask you and maybe even agree with you. If not, so what? It is HER wedding.
- Get a wedding planner OR, at the very least, someone you trust who is experienced in these matters. They will get you deals that you can't get on your own and relieve a tremendous amount of stress. AND, they might be able to help you deflect those ideas you think are not that terrific since the thought is coming from someone other than you.
- If your daughter does not want to have a photo-booth, get one anyway even if you make it a surprise. She'll be glad you did when all is said and done. Those things are a total BLAST!
- If there's trouble, try to keep it away from your daughter. Sometimes people will try to step in and upset the apple cart. Smack them out of the way and put that thing back in order before she sees it and gets all upset.
- Keep your opinions to yourself UNLESS she specifically asks for them. If she's open, you can show her options that she may not have been aware of but don't force the issue.
- Make sure the photographer didn't take 1600 photos BEFORE you promise you'll make photobooks on Shutterfly for your daughter so she can give them to the grandparents for Christmas.
- If you think no one is going to step up and host the bridal luncheon for your daughter, step up and do it yourself. It's a lovely event and she'll appreciate it greatly.
- You're all set and head out to the wedding venue. Take a second Mother of the Bride outfit just in case you suddenly don't really like the one you thought you would. Or, you discover that, since no one consulted you on their attire, you discover that they are all under dressed leaving you over dressed.
- RELAX. If you get all stressed and tense about things not going your way, you'll miss out on all the fun! Because she'll leave you out of it. As well she should since IT IS NOT YOUR WEDDING.
- Be willing to help where you are needed and let her carry the ball where you are not.
- If someone needs to be the bully when a vendor isn't being...professional, you step in. Handle it without anyone's knowledge or let your planner step in. I've always told my girls they are welcome to use me as the 'Wicked Witch of the East' and that holds true to this day. I don't mind stepping in and taking the blame, but leave my girls alone. Ya know?
- If you have a blog, make sure the vendors know this. And that they will be reviewed on said blog. For all your 5,000 plus readers. Yes, it's OK to exaggerate that number. They won't know until they read the review IF they read it. Y'all know that almost all of our vendors got rave reviews and each of the emailed me with their gratitude. It works both ways.
- Try to impress upon your daughter the importance of the wedding pictures--you know, offer to pay for them and get someone reputable. Otherwise she might hire someone (affordable) who took pictures at her future SIL's wedding and, when you get them back, you'll discover his aren't any better than the ones you took yourself.