Friday, March 31, 2017

How Do You Define the Mom Role?

I'm giving Five Minute Friday another go this week. Y'all, 5 minutes is either too short or too long. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium here. Regardless, it's a fun practice and there are some fabulous writers participating who make for some good reading.

If you'd like to check it out, just click the button and head over.


This week's prompt is: DEFINE

GO!

Defining myself as 'mom' is one of the easiest things I've ever done. Not only easy but in all likelihood one of the things I've done better than anything else. I never minded putting in the time and effort nor did I mind putting my four daughters needs/wants above my own. I've never really done that for anyone else but never gave it a second thought with my girls.

Redefining myself has never been difficult.

Fast forward a couple decades and, while still defined as 'mom' the meaning changed. I had no trouble with this either. After all, one of the main goals of raising children is to prepare them to go out in the world and make their mark. Make a difference. Be world changers. Be happy, loving, kind...so changing the definition of 'mom' was not difficult. But then, two moved back in and defining the 'mom' role became quite interesting. Surprisingly, it was not me who had the problem.

Redefining the mom role is not easy for some adult children.

It seems when your grown up daughters move back in the house, they tend to think you are still functioning within the parameters of the first 'mom' definition. In other words, you are still going to pay for everything, cook and clean up, etc. That's not the way I defined my role as mom to adult children. 

STOP.

And that's it. Sooooo, I may have to revisit this next week. Seems I've many things to say about this topic.



Please visit my Etsy shop, CoasterDoodles !

9 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Terri! You should go over there and read some of the others. I've been doing that this morning and they are FABULOUS!

      Delete
  2. Visiting as your FMF neighbor. Seems to me, you have this "mom" thing defined well. Returning empty nesters often offer interesting challenges. Two of my five returned "home" and you're right, they always look at you as mom or dad. You know the drill ... set the rules and parameters. And love them unconditionally. I'm sure you will have more to say on welcoming the brood back to the nest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I do have it defined, too. Getting them to understand I'm not responsible for them like I was when they were little is a whole different thing. LOL One has already moved back out but the oldest is still here. She's on her third year. I'm considering taking up drinking. I kid! I am looking forward to the day she moves back out, though.

      Delete
  3. being mom is MOST PRECIOUS THING IN MY LIFE!
    if i would have to reborn i will choose it every time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here! However, when they move back in as adults things get very interesting. Very. Interesting. LOL Thanks!

      Delete
  4. I'm glad both our kids flew the nest and never came back for more than visits. As much as I'd like to have them home, the dynamics certainly change and I don't think I'd want to go back to mothering them again! I'm looking forward to seeing them for Easter though :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The dynamics certainly do change and the one who's still here is driving me NUTS. I don't want to mother anyone either but, for some reason, they think that is exactly what I'm supposed to do.

      Delete
  5. I am learning about this transition in definition. My oldest is a freshman in college but living at home. Walking that line of providing yet empowering for independence can be tricky; especially with two other kids at home. Thanks for the post! I'm #64 at FMF linkup.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me feel connected to everyone even though we may live far apart! Have a wonderful day!

 
Design by Imagination Designs
Illustration by MerryLittleDoodle
Background by CinnamonDove