Friday, April 14, 2017

How Does Your Empty Feel?

Empty.

That's one thing I hardly ever feel unless I'm exhausted and have nothing left for the day which usually happens when I've chased Baby M around the house on our full days together. Let me tell you following a 9-month-old around at my age is doable but it will leave you exhausted.

I can't think of a time in my life I've felt empty. I never felt empty when I was growing up and nowadays, there's always something going on with people living here or calling and texting and then there's the fact my mind never shuts down with all the thinking and the stopping of thinking LIKE THAT. Empty is not a feeling or a situation around here.

My house is full of people and too much stuff so, no emptiness there. My life is full of people and activities so, no emptiness there. My nest isn't even empty anymore. And that's the empty I wish I had.

I LOVED my nest in its empty time. There was never too much noise or too much mess or having to plan meals for more than 1 or 2 or having to consider someone else before doing anything. I LOVED it that way.

Empty is good when it comes to my nest. When the nest is empty, I get to decide what to do and when to do it. No one is hovering over me to offer unsolicited advice or opinions. When people come over it's great because you know they're going to leave. Of course, this is much easier when they only live 10 minutes away. It's not that easy when the one who lives 8 hours away leaves after a visit.

Yes, I miss my empty nest. And was ever so hopeful to have it back in another month or two. Until teacher daughter decided she'd like to move back in for one year while her BF finishes training in VA or TN for his new job. (STOP TIMER)

My nest may never be empty again.

I miss it.

I'm not ungrateful that we are a close-knit family and enjoy being around each other. There is no need to hand down the mom guilt trip (not that I would anyway since I only like having people around because they want to be not due to feelings of obligation) because none of us ever feel forced to spend time together. Our family genuinely enjoys spending time together. I appreciate it very much especially when I read the horror stories of those moms who don't have this with their adult kids. In my naivety, I thought everyone had what we have. They don't. There are moms out there who are drowning in a vast, dark, deep ocean of total emptiness.

I have no answers for them other than strongly suggesting they seek help before they drown in the emptiness. I just can't imagine being so devoted to my children that I depend on them for my happiness. Do y'all think that's unfair to the kids? I do.

So, yes. I miss my empty nest. It's messy and noisy and crazy around here nearly every single day of the week but I'll take it. Because the emptiness that some moms feel is a dark empty I hope I never experience.




I can't believe I'm getting this post up on Friday. Ha! This post is linked to Five Minute Friday.  The prompt this week is: Empty.





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21 comments:

  1. Great post Pam. I love my empty nest (just hubby and me) so much! My girls are happy where they are and that makes me happy. Thank goodness for Video Chat and texting and FB and Instagram though!

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    1. Yes! And you're so right- when the kids are happy, we're happy. And aren't we so blessed to have happy kids? And sweet, sweet grand-babies. :)

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  2. I am practically in that empty nest stage (one married, two away at college, one at home but commuting and working) and I have to confess I do dread it. Thanks for a lovely perspective on the blessings that come from this season. Have a beautiful weekend! ~ your FMF neighbor

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    1. There are many blessings but there are some who are suffering like I've never seen before. I worry about those moms. I hope you will see the good parts of the empty nest! :) Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

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  3. Visiting from FMF what a neat perspective. I long for an empty nest some days, but I'm trying to soak up all the love in the here and now while I can!

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    1. Definitely soak it all up! That's what I did and, while I missed the girls, I knew they were happy and that I just needed to get through the adjustment period. Once I did, two of them moved back home. LOL

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  4. I'm looking forward to that empty nest time, not that I want it empty always though. I want my kiddos and grand kiddos coming and going, or hubby and I going and coming. I want us to be doing life together still. Respecting and enjoying each other and having the kind of relationship that allows us to do life apart too.

    I fear children are another way those floundering without Christ are looking to fill the empty void.

    Followed behind you at FMF this week.

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    1. That's what goes on around here. The nest is empty (well, one moved back but she's leaving soon) but everyone still comes and goes and there's the grandbaby who fills my heart to overflowing every single day. :) Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  5. I'm with you, I love the empty nest! I love when the kiddos come for a weekend too. I love when they leave again. ha. I might have to link up with this one.
    Happy Easter!

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    1. It is nice that they come and then you get to have the quiet until the next visit. Of course, the grandbaby is here every day but that's a whole lotta love that I wouldn't give up for anything. :) Happy Easter to you, too!

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  6. I am totally with you!! I don't know if I will ever have an empty nest either.
    Ben and Megan are going to sell their house and put an trailer here when they are home. They are going to travel the U.S. for a year. So I understand. I still have the two youngest at home. But when those brief times when no one is home and the nest is empty I revel in it. I love my quiet and being able to do just what I like to do too. I think we are the most blessed. We have people around us who like us. I see people and it isn't that way at all. They are lonely. I don't think we will ever be lonely. :) Great post Pam!

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    1. I agree! We are so blessed by people who not only love us but like us and want to spend time with us. I hope you're right that we are never lonely! Thank you! Happy Easter!

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  7. Nope! I am a young momπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    I will pass on this one πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Dropping by to say Hello.
    Happy Easter and God bless

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    1. watch out. The time will go by so fast you'll wake up and BOOM! they're all grown up and gone. But the empty nest, by that time, will be welcomed. Because you're so dang tired and you need to rest. LOL Happy Easter!

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  8. Since we do have empty now I admit that I miss having the kids around, however not all the time!!!

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  9. Thank you so much for stopping in to leave a comment, so I could make my way to your beautiful home (PS: following you now everywhere, I think!). I currently live with my bf, am approaching 40 and have no kids, but our nest is filled with the fur of our pup. I'd love a little, but sometimes I wonder if I'll feel much the same way you do, because I like peace and quiet and I know that's not a possibility with a newborn :) That said, I agree completely that relying on your children for your happiness is completely unfair, though I know a lot of momma bears do.

    That's lovely that you have such a close, tight-knit family. But when you need moments to yourself, don't be afraid to ask for them! XOXO

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    1. Awww, you're so sweet! Thank you for stopping in, commenting and following! I've never known a mom who depends on her kids for happiness but I sure have been hearing about their stories on an empty nester FB group I am a member of and I am torn between feeling bad for them and wanting to slap them into reality. LOL I've got a fur baby, too. I got him the year before the nest became empty and he has been the best decision I ever made! Thanks, again!

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  10. I think in every season of life and parenting we have to look for the beauty. There is much to love about a houseful, and also much to love about a quiet empty nest . I have loved and missed both on any given day. I do not think it's healthy to rely strictly on our children for our company, happiness, friendship as sometimes happens. I think it's healthy and more enjoyable to have wonderful relationships with them, but in a way that allows them to grow and become adults apart from us too. I think missing someone can make us appreciate time spent together just a bit more.

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    1. I couldn't agree more. I'm so worried about MANY of the women in the Empty Nesters FB group. It's so sad and, at the same time I want to shake it out of them. The members are very supportive but these poor souls just can't give up and let their kids be adults. I'm so glad I didn't have to go through that. I wish I had a magic wand to wave at them. :)

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  11. Ours is empty except for when the grandbabies are here. They bring life and laughter to this place :) Thank you for attending the #WednesdayAIMLinkParty. I shared your post on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me feel connected to everyone even though we may live far apart! Have a wonderful day!

 
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