Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Daycare Sucks But the Hodgepodge Rocks

Y'all might hear a little bit of frustration here today. I tried to keep it at a minimum but when you have to say it, you have to say it. Just sayin'. HA! Let's just say I feel the rug has been yanked up from under me and left me reeling. Thank goodness for the good people who join in with Joyce every Wednesday on the Hodgepodge and for Joyce who asks the questions and is such a lovely host.

From this Side of the Pond

1. We've reached edition number 315 here in the Wednesday Hodgepodge. So tell us, what were you doing at 3:15 yesterday? I was sitting here being very sad (I'm writing this on Tuesday). Is that typical? No. On a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being low and 10 being high) what's your energy level usually like at 3:15 PM? It's usually about a 4 because Baby M is usually here but her mother decided Baby M needs to start developing her social skills (and if I have to be honest, Baby M does love other children) and she wants Baby M exposed to the world (to which I responded, "You do realize she's ONE, right?) so she put her in daycare 3 days/week. No, I am NOT happy about that. Yes, I'm keeping my mouth shut about it. Sort of. Yes, I have plenty to say and Y'all might hear it right here. 

2. A frisbee, a tantrum, a towel, a party, a punch, or a curveball...which have you most recently thrown or had thrown at/for you? A tantrum. Elaborate. Ok, so Baby M's mother put her in daycare part time. She claims to have researched places and gone on tours but if that's so I have no idea why she chose the one she did except it's close to the high school where she is an athletic trainer. Why am I having a tantrum? Am I opposed to daycare? Yes, I am. IF it can be avoided, I think it should be. It's not like we don't have options in this family. I agree Baby M's mother has to make her own decisions but I would prefer she wait until Baby M is 2 before thrusting her into conformity school where they are only concerned with meeting basic needs and insisting on forced compliance. OH and after her first day at daycare, I watched Baby M throwing a tantrum while she was here the next day. Which was yesterday. She doesn't do that. She learns quickly, apparently. 

3. What are three things that would help you right now. Zanax. Valium. Whatever else helps with anxiety. Tell us how or why. So, I think I mentioned Baby M's mother put her in daycare. Here's why my anxiety is on high alert:


What if they don't let her have her water when she wants it? She LOVES her water.
What if they fill her cup with city water? Yes, this is bad. The water is testing positive for pesticides, children in the same area of town have the exact same brain tumors and Erin Brockovich is coming to town.
What if they don't give her a little snack after her nap?
What if they don't help her when she needs help?
What about when she looks for a familiar face and it's not there?
What if they are lazy about changing diapers?
What if they feed her canned food?
What if they feed her baby food? She doesn't eat that junk.
They didn't transition Baby M slowly but instead dumped her in there for 8-10 hours on DAY ONE.
How many of them hold Master's degrees in Early Childhood Development, have raised 4 daughters, have been with Baby M nearly every day since she was 4 months old, and realize she's the greatest kid EVER like her grandma has/does?
What if they are not nice if she doesn't comply immediately? They drag that child and I'll drag them and it won't be from their arms. 
What if she isn't cut out to be a sheep?




Questions? Oh yeah, I got questions.

4. Do you think you're strong? Yes, except when it comes to Baby M going to daycare. Why or why not? Because I survive and hold onto hope regardless of how dire the situation seems. What makes you strong? My genes. I come from a long line of strong women. 

5. Do you enjoy reading historical fiction? Not when they are written as romance novels, which they usually are. What's your favorite book set sometime in the past? I love THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO and LES MISERABLES both of which were set in the present time of that time in history but they're set in the past for us. Such beautiful writing the likes of which are hard to come by these days. In this present day, I tend to shy away from historical fiction in case it's romance related. I'm not opposed to romance but every single author who writes it does so using the same formula from which the earth might swallow them if they didn't follow it to the letter.  

6. Insert your own random thought here. Y'all, I know people have to use daycare I just prefer not to and my main reason is a trust issue. And the fact that daycare kids tend to be way more aggressive, not assertive Y'all, aggressive. And the fact that I don't want someone other than family raising my kids. I know our ways, our values, etc...but I don't know theirs. While waiting on my graduate assistantship I worked in a daycare and, even though that was a long time ago, I know what goes on behind the scenes even though parents scrutinize these days. I hear almost daily of people getting fired for not treating kids right. At least they got found out and fired? Sure but it's too late for the kids who were exposed to it beforehand. And I might not believe that finding out and firing is harsh enough. Baby M's mother assures me the daycare has cameras. They sure do. Not nanny cams so you can everything that goes on, though. They send still shots via an app. Do Y'all honestly think they're going to send you pictures of your kid crying their eyes out or the employee dragging them out by the arm for noncompliance? Nope. No, I didn't bring all of this up but I did tell my daughter if anyone does anything no matter how small to Baby M I will step in. And it will be worth the jail time. 


Of course, there is grapevine talk that someone thought I might have a hard time or maybe will when the second grand arrives but since no one asked how I felt that must not be true. 

Does it drive Y'all nuts when people make decisions for you without asking you for your thoughts?

Rant over. For now. 







Y'all are the absolute BEST for allowing me to rant today. I value all your thoughts/opinions/suggestions and that's why Y'all got stuck. :) 



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28 comments:

  1. Make up a petition and I'll be the first to sign it!! Why on earth would anyone choose to put their child in daycare when the loving and able grandma is eager to care for her. I totally don't get it. And this isn't even any of my business! I'm sorry, Pam.

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    1. Thank you! I'll make one up right away! :) I know, I don't get it either. At least I do still have her on Tuesdays and Thursdays but still. At first I thought I was doing something wrong but I think she may have thought she was doing something to help me out and expose Marcy to other little ones. I really don't know, though. I'm a bit devastated. Thank you, Judy.

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  2. Hi,
    I am sending a HUG, Pam. I am/was a stay at home mom. My husband and I did not want anyone else raising our boys. And we do not live close to ANY family. I loved being a stay at home mom. Yes, we had to make sacrifices, but it is all worth it. My oldest is a Senior this year in HS! My youngest is 15.
    HUGS and MORE HUGS,
    Carla

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    1. Thank you, I need it. I stayed home, too for the same reason and I had no help either but I loved it. I was loving staying with my granddaughter, too but I'm not her mother. At least I still get her on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's better than nothing. Thank you, again for the hugs and comment. It's been a long week and it's only Wednesday.

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  3. Here's a suggestion....volunteer at said daycare, 3 days a week! If you do it right, she may get kicked out of her first 'school'. HA!
    But seriously....that social issue makes me NUTS!!! She will learn all sorts of social behavior as you have already observed. Pray mom notices and changes her tune.
    UGH!!!!

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    1. Girl, that is so funny because I told someone I was going to go over there and apply for a job but tell them I could only work on MWF! LOL She really will learn it and I was hoping she could stay full time with me until she turns 2 at which point I thought a Mother's morning out would be a nice, easy transition as they only go 2 or 3 days/week and only for 3 hours. But what do I know? Ha! Thank you!

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  4. I'm just going to go ahead and say that socializing a one year old is definitely overrated. Is it even really a thing? I have degrees and a background/work history in early childhood education. I think that's a message society sends to young moms, but it's not neccessarily accurate. There are moms who certainly need affordable, safe, loving daycare and I understand that. But saying a child needs to go to daycare for the socialization factor at age one is something different. I'm sorry you're reeling from this. Was it sudden? Will you be watching the new baby when he arrives? We're still waiting here (on pins and needles I might add). I will keep you posted : ) And hugs to you today because I think you need one.

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    1. I totally agree with you. I didn't socialize mine in a formal setting until the age of 2 and then it was Mother's morning out program at church and only for 3 days/week for 3 hours each day and that was it. Same when they were 3. I just don't get it. I knew she was thinking about it but had no idea she was going to do it until last week so I only had 3 days to let it sink in. I was so worried and I still am. I saw changes in Baby M's behavior yesterday and it had only been one day in day care. Thankfully, I do still get her two days/week. Yes, I get to keep the new one, too but not until after Christmas unless something changes. I already had so many things in mind that we would be doing when there were 2 here. Anyway... I'm thinking of Y'all every day and keeping everyone in my prayers. And thank you for the hug because you're right, I need one. :)

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  5. Our sweet grandbaby has gone to daycare every day since she was about 3 months old. My husband works about a mile away and for the rest of her first year, he showed up at the daycare EVERY SINGLE day and sat in a rocking chair and rocked our baby and fed her the lunchtime bottle. When she moved to the one year old room, they told him he couldn't come anymore because they sit at the table, etc. now. Just about broke his heart. He said that if she was going to be in daycare, they were going to know that he was going to be around!!

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    1. That's so sweet. I wish I could go over and do that but she's in the one year old room and then there's the fact that I wouldn't be able to leave her there.

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  6. My son went to day care when he was 10 weeks old. His first day care was a home/family type. It was filled with love, but no real guidelines. His last day there was the day I got a call at work telling me I needed to buy him new shoes before I picked him up. The reason? Because his got all went when he fell into the bathtub full of water. Yep, he was left on his own to explore. to possibly drown. he left there an hour later never to return.
    He then went to an actual day care. It was the best place for him. Except when Grandma took him for a day. She worked and did volunteer work, and couldn't have him everyday. This daycare had the most caring, highly educated people in this type of setting I have ever encountered.
    Maybe daycare is different in your town, but at this one the children could have drink when they want it, the food was made all from scratch, they provided tasty healthy snacks,they didn't allow a child to stay in a dirty diaper.
    I had to work. I was a single mom. I didn't want to impose on my mom this responsibility of having him with her everyday, all day. My mom had her life and it was full. The time they spent together was wonderful and meant so much to them both.
    My son did not suffer in daycare. Not once. Oh, and he is not aggressive. He is assertive.

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    1. I realize there are situations where daycare is not an option but that is not the case here. Baby M is never left alone to explore at my house. I'm a hands on grandma who was more than willing to give up teaching to avoid the daycare route. It's the kids first with me and it always has been that way. There are some nice ones here but I'm not fond of the one she chose. The food is not made from scratch and they are taught to conform which makes life easier for the employees who are not highly educated but not uneducated either. As for the aggressiveness, please note that I wrote they tend to be not that all come out that way. I know some who came out aggressive and some who came out just as sweet as they can be. It's great that your son did not suffer in daycare. A young family we know were not so lucky.

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  7. {{{HUGS}}} I'm not sure what to say but my heart aches with you. I agree with your rant. I would have trust issues too and being at home with you is the next best thing if she can't be at home with her mother!!!

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    1. Those darn trust issues get me every time. :) THanks!

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  8. Oh Pam!! I am so sorry! My heart breaks for you. Hang in there. Thanks for sharing. I will be praying for you. Of course, for the baby. And Momma. :)

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    1. Thank you. At least we all still live close and I get her 2 days every week. :)

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  9. So sorry you're feeling so upset about this situation. I would feel the same way though. Sending you some virtual hugs!

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    1. I'm sure it will all work out. But I do appreciate the hugs. :)

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  10. Well, I'm no good giving advice since I've not had any experience with little ones, but I DO agree with you and with Joyce's response. I think a lot of our troubled kids today didn't have loving care at young ages. Those first three years are SO important. Happy to listen and your rant is valid. Hugs.

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    1. I think so, too. Those are the formative years for sure. Luckily, Baby M does know she is loved. I wish every child knew that. Thanks for listening. :)

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  11. Day care can be great if you find a day care you and the child likes, my eldest daughter works in day care now and loves it

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    1. It can be and it certainly is nice when those who have to have one find a good one. Parents should never have to worry about their kids. I'm glad she likes working there and I know she enjoys the kiddos. :)

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  12. Oh, my! I'm not a fan of daycare. Only one of our four "grands" ever stayed in one, and he stayed sick almost the entire time he was there! He also developed aggressive behavior and got bitten several times. (and this was a top rated, very expensive daycare, with a long waiting list!)
    You daughter may change her mind, in time.
    I know how much you love and cherish baby M, so I know this is hard. I hope it all works out okay. ((hugs))
    Kathy (Reflections)

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    1. You just never know, do you? I know sometimes people simply have no choice but when they do, it's a blessing. I know she'll take her out if things don't seem right. She's very in tune with Baby M. But I miss her little self. Two days are not quite the same but I'll take them! It's better than none! :) Thank you so much!

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  13. Given the enthusiastic posts about baby M here on your blog, I'm not surprised about your reaction. None of business nor do I have enough knowledge about this - but I do think family care for babies is a good thing. Socializing is a good thing too but I'm sure you could of figured out some play-date thing with other babies. That said we have a granddaughter under 1 who goes to a great daycare.

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    1. I know there are good ones out there I'm just not sure this is one of them. Her behavior has already changed here on Tuesday and today and I noticed while she was having breakfast this morning her little hand got shaky before she reached for her bite of egg and she looked at me. I had to reassure her before she'd get it and that has never happened before. The aunties and I are giving her all sorts of helping options so if she'd like she can change her mind and continue here every day instead of 2. Of course, we'll respect her decision as the mom because...she's the mom. LOL It's odd, I feel had she started earlier or later it would have been better. At this age I think it's not as good an idea. I sure miss her little self on MWF, though.

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  14. I agree!!!

    I took care of our first grand daughter, from the time they moved back to home town. She was 1 1/2. She never went to any day care. She is now a lovely 24 year old, Electrical Engineer, with an amazing job, in which she is moving up in "rank," and she loves it, and with a handsome 28 year old Engineer boy friend.

    Guess she didn't really need any of that Paid Day Care Socialization, they tout. Harrrrrumph....

    Happy Lughnasa!!!
    Luna Crone

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me feel connected to everyone even though we may live far apart! Have a wonderful day!

 
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