Friday, August 4, 2017

Try, Try Again

Try, try, and try as I might I shall never be a caregiver. And I don't really try all that hard because I'm not cut out for it. `A natural caregiver doesn't have to try, they just do. It comes naturally to them. I don't like it, I'm not good at it, and I find it awkward and intrusive. I hope I never have to depend on a caregiver.

Caregivers are some of the most special people on the planet and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. They are unselfish and kind-hearted. Their patience level is off the charts. And I am not one of them.

Some of you know Mother has come to stay here for a while after a week long hospital stay. Nothing will prove you inept at caregiving quicker than having an older parent move in. I vote for in home care and I will vote for it every single time. Because I am not a caregiver. Oh, I'm doing it but I'm not digging it.

I love finding new heart/diabetic friendly recipes and preparing meals. I don't mind serving the meals and cleaning up after. But that's pretty much where it ends.

I'm not medically inclined one bit and I am not a fan of discussing medical issues. I'm not a fan of strangers in my house. Patience has never been my friend. The fibromyalgia imposes limits on what I can do and/or duration of the activity. I have hyper sensitive senses which keep me all sorts of inside and quiet and I am allergic to nearly everything under the sun that involves chemicals or flowers. Anxiety? Yep, that too.

Excuses? No just limitations that I have to try and exceed right now and that's not been a good thing. And Mother has always been proud of her independence so it's not easy for her. AND I will be having a come to Jesus with that hospital but that's for another time.

Through it all, we still keep trying to laugh because that's what our family does. We laugh our way through as many situations as we can. And of course, there's the whole Mother is still with us so we're very grateful. And her doctors are nothing less than completely amazed at her progress so it seems she will regain that independence she values so much.

So maybe I'm sort of a caregiver just not a good one. If you ask Mother she'll say I am but that's what older Southern Mothers do- tell things about their kids the way they see them not the way we really are.

I think Yoda might be right. I'm better when I just do it. If I try, I see my shortcomings. When I just do, I do what has to be done to the best of my ability. When I try, I compare myself to others. When I do, I'm too busy for comparisons.

And then again, I'm probably overthinking the whole thing. As usual. I should try to stop that.

This post was inspired by 5 Minute Friday.


Have a great weekend, Y'all!


Please visit my Etsy shop, CoasterDoodles
and feel free to FAVORITE the shop
or buy something! :)

video




18 comments:

  1. You are such a blessing to so many, Pam. Don't be so hard on yourself. I would tend to agree with your mom. You are a blessing and wonderful caregiver. If anyone is reading this comment (other than Pam) go to her Etsy Shop and SHOP!! Her coasters are great!

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    1. Terri, you are just too kind. I think my disappointment comes in when I check my motivation. I do some things out of obligation rather the goodness of my heart. Thank you for the CoasterDoodles recommendation, too! I'm so glad Y'all like the coasters!

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  2. Your Mother is flourishing and You are doing a good job, Pam. You have a lot on your plate. I for one admire you for not having a major meltdown! Stay strong and remember friends are in your corner��. Have a good weekend.

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    1. I keep wondering when the meltdown is going to happen because I know it's coming. LOL Thank you! Your visits are one of the main things that keep me going, my wonderful friend!

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  3. Courage!

    I don't know how you are doing it!

    It's not in my genes, either.

    -sigh- I could say more. I SHOULD say less.

    So I guess I'll just close.

    Courage!

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    1. I need some of that courage, send some my way! :) I hope it won't last long for both our sakes. Thank you!

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  4. I think you are way, way, way too hard on yourself! I think you are a better care giver than you think. I am a terrible nurse and never in a million years would even think of myself as one, but I think all the caregiver is is a person who just gets her done. You are that kind of person. You see a job and you do it. Really, Laughter is the best medicine anyway. I will be praying for you Pam. Even the doctors are seeing how much better you are for your Mom than they were. Hang in there. :)

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    1. I don't think so and even if I was, my heart just isn't in it. But I am glad we can laugh over here. :) Thank you for the prayers, I can sure use them. Thank you, Kim!

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  5. Oh Pam, I feel you. I have a sister and a daughter who are nurses--bless their souls--I don't know how they do it. I just feel uncomfortable and intrusive around other people's pain, and don't get me started on trying to change dressings, deal with bodily fluids, or any number of other caregiving tasks. Heaven help us both if I ever become the primary caregiver for anyone. Funny, it didn't bother me when I was raising my daughters. Maybe there is something instinctive about caring for those you bring into this world. I hope your mother is feeling healthy again soon. Carry on!

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    1. The whole time I was reading your comments I just kept shaking my head in the affirmative! Intrusive, can't deal with changing dressings or bodily fluids and I had no trouble doing any of this for my daughters either. I think you're right, it must be instinctive. All I know is I don't have it. Mother is doing fantastic so we're hoping she'll regain her independence soon. :) Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only non-caregiver type out there.

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  6. My husband and I were caring for his 90 year old Mum after my FIL passed away. It isn't easy and you can only do what you can do. I hope your Mum recovers soon. Thanks for sharing at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty

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    1. You're right, it isn't easy. I've certainly found my limitations imposed by fibromyalgia and I have to plow through anyway. When you add the pain, it's not fun. Not that it would be anyway. LOL Thank you for sharing and commenting!

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  7. I'm not a caregiver either. But I think you might have the right idea. Stop trying and thinking and just do. I really need to remember that. Thank you for sharing. Hope yoyr mom gets her independence back soon.

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    1. It sure will make you thankful for those who are caregivers. :) Thank you!

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  8. I totally agree with laughing your way through every situation as much as possible. That approach to life is probably why your mother is doing as well as she is and regaining her valued independence. My sister was an O.R. nurse for 44 years (before retirement) and she's a natural care-giver. I'm NOT. As luck would have it, I ended up being my mother's caregiver for the last year-and-a-half of her life. She passed away at age 97, and I was honored to participate in her care, albeit lamely. I think an honest and loving attempt at caregiving is all anyone can ask. Thank you for linking up at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I’m sharing your link on social media.
    Carol (“Mimi”) from Home with Mimi

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    1. I have so much respect for care-givers. I have no idea how long this will last but I honestly hope not much longer. The sooner she regains her independence, the better for both of us. LOL I don't know how you did it with your mother that long. I just don't think I could and I hope I don't have to find out. Geez, that sounds selfish, eh? Thank you!

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  9. Hang in there and keep laughing! I understand fully about the fibromyalgia and as I always say --> Laughter is the BEST medicine! Thank you Pam for linking up at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I shared your post on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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  10. Another post that I enjoyed so much! You have such a good sense of humor. Just keep repeating "this will pass, this will pass". Thank you for sharing a little part of your life with us at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me feel connected to everyone even though we may live far apart! Have a wonderful day!

 
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