Thursday, March 24, 2011

ANNOYING

There are times when it seems that the main objective for Hubs is to annoy me.  I ask the dear a simple ‘yes/no’ question and I get a dissertation.  God love him, he still knows very little about email and needed to print something off.  It didn’t go well.  So, stupidly, I ask, “Do you need me to go into your email and print those forms off for you?” 
 “No, I was just going to print them off and call those people and tell them blahblahblahblah. And then I needed to blahblahblahblah because if I don’t then blahblahblah.  
“Ok, all I asked was if you wanted me to get it printed off for you.  I don’t need all of that information.”
“And then I wanted to forward something to Breezy but I don’t know how.” 
“It’s easy,” I begin, “all you have to do is hit the ‘Forward’ button, type in the email address, and click send.” 
“Ok, so I just click the ‘Forward’ button and it should send?” 
“No, you have to type in the email address and click ‘Send.’”
“Oh, ok.  So, click the ‘Forward’ button, put in the address and it should go?”
“Yes but you have to click ‘Send’ before it will actually SEND IT.”

Birdie came over for lunch on Sunday and to do some laundry (read: let me do some laundry for her) and we all played a game of Farkle!.  It’s a fun game involving dice but it’s different from Yahtzee.  Whenever it’s Hub’s turn, he has to analyze his roll.  For example, let’s say he rolls two 3s, two 6s, one 5 and one 2.  He will look at them for at least 10 seconds (the amount of time that the rest of us have already picked up the dice we don’t want and have rolled our second roll), put his finger on the 2 and say, “If this 2 was another 5, or (as he moves his finger from the 2 to the 5) if this 5 was a 2, I would have 1500 points.”  Yes, we know this.  But it wasn’t so why the hell is he even mentioning it?  I have no idea.  He does this every single time he rolls.  I don’t know whether to call him ‘Mister State the Obvious' or 'Mister Take up too much dang time discussing irrelevant points.’  

BestSonInLawEVER (except Sunday when I called him SonInLawWhoIsNOTFunny) took a picture of Breezy and sent it to Deanie with the caption:  “Breezy’s new haircut.  Drastic.”  Deanie sends it to me and Breezy has had her hair cut really short and IT LOOKS FANTASTIC!  So I send her a text: OMG! I LOVE your hair!  And she sends me one back:  “It was a wig! LOL”  So, SonInLawWhoIsNOT Funny took the picture and sent the message but never told anyone that it was a wig.   Breezy:  “He was trying to fake you guys out.  Guess it worked.  LOL” (Oh yeah, he’s real darn funny like that—can’t imagine the fun he’s going to have when babies start coming along).  I share the story with Hubs (including the part about it being a wig and a joke and show him the picture.  

“It looks really good!”
“Yes, but it was a joke.”
“So she didn’t have her hair cut?”
WTH?! 

What exactly is it Hubs hears when I open my mouth to speak?  

Last summer I asked, “Can’t you take a couple of those barrels and make rain barrels out of them for watering the garden?  Oh, and can’t we get one of those flats hoses with holes in it to lay across the raised beds for watering?  It takes hours to get them saturated.”  Sunday, Hubs said, “We need to set up a couple of rain barrels and get some sort of irrigation going for the raised beds.”  Really?  What a freaking cleverashell idea.  On Wednesday he says, "How about looking up on the internet what I need to set up some drip irrigation for the garden.  The raised beds aren't even getting wet three inches down and it takes hours to get them wet all the way through."

I must be speaking in a foreign tongue.  


This is the 24th day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for the month of March. The theme for this month is: in a word! My chosen word for today is: ANNOYING because that's what Hubs is being this week.  Just keep looking for the humor, right?





23 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, they are all alike!

    Susan

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  2. Thats hilarious,I'm still laughing.In our house its the same with the blahblahblah..but the bottom story is me 2nd guessing the ideas ..seems hubby and I are as annoying as each other LOL

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  3. I cracked up reading this because our husbands have the same hearing disease.

    Example: ME: "So, where is your book show on Friday?" HIM: "WHAT???
    Boat show? What boat show? What are you talking about?"

    Me thinks HE thinks TOO much before he speaks.

    Good luck!

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  4. Did you borrow my husband for this post? Sounds exactly, and I do mean exactly,like him.
    I feel your frustration...let's join hands and say together the annoyed housewife mantra,'aaaarrrrgggghhhh!'

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  5. The extra annoying gene in in their makeup.

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  6. OMG!!! Your Hubs and my Honeybunny are brothers!!! I swear I'm speaking in dog decibels. He never hears me. He does, however, read by blog so anything I really want him to absorb - I post ;-)

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  7. Have you checked for a hearing problem? My MIL was always doing that 'brilliant idea' thing and it turned out that she couldn't hear well. Can't explain the other stuff - just quirky. Ya gotta love 'em!

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  8. I'm afraid they're on a completely different planet from us!!!!

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  9. Are our husbands related? Actually, I think all hubbies are kin to one another. Mine won't do anything until he thinks he thought of it himself, either...or unless some stranger on the street suggests it!!! ;-)

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  10. Susan- It would appear that way! LOL

    Blogged- I'm sure Hubs could share things about me that are annoying, but that would just be his opinion. LOL

    Kelly- YES! Just like that too!

    Carol- I'm sure if we did that we would actually be able to make a big circle around the globe! LOL

    Gail- So that's what it is! LOL

    Donna- Hubs reads this sometimes too...maybe my next post should be about the bathroom remodel and the new steam shower that's been in the crate on my FRONT porch for three years.

    Stephanie-You certainly do have to love 'em-otherwise...LOL

    This-Agreed!

    Deb- I think they are ALL related! Oh, YES to the stranger on the street thing! I can relate!

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  11. Oh, so funny! And can I ever relate! Especially to the ask-a-simple-question part and getting a long dissertation that (at least in my case) often has nothing to do with the question I asked!

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  12. Thanks for visiting my site and for the comment. I tried really hard to follow you but without the follow word at the top of the page I tried to use the button over the thumbnails and it always comes back can't find the page.
    Odie

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  13. Bloody hell! It seems that men around the planet are exactly the same. I had the same problems with my (ex) partner. I would say things in plain English and he would look at me as though I had spoken in Chinese.

    And I would have to ask AT LEAST 3 times before anything got done. And then it would be a bodge job.

    Ooh, a very insightful post me dear! x

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  14. I can definitely relate. I think all men are pretty much the same.

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  15. They are all alike. My Hubby can give a dissertation worthy of a PHD. God love him, if I ask him if it is time to change the oil in my car, I will receive a lesson on the car engine, pistons, why oil is needed, what weight of oil is the best for the car and why!
    Yikes, I justed wanted a Yes or No. He keeps the records, and changes the oil. Also, my brain does not want a lesson in mechanics, Thank You Very Much!

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  16. Kara- Oh yes, sometimes the answer has absolutely NOTHING to do with the question!

    Odie- I'm so sorry! And I have no idea about what to do! But thank you so much for trying!

    Betty- You are so right-if we can't laugh we might smack them...or worse! LOL

    Annie-Only THREE times? It takes Hubs at least 5 years to talk about doing something before he thinks about getting up and doing it. At least. Darn him.

    Michelle- I do believe you are correct! LOL

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  17. Shawn-My brain doesn't want that either! Just a simple yes or no...

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  18. On my good days I try to ignore hubby's repetitions, and tell myself it's ok to explain things for the millionth time, maybe I wasn't clear enough the first 999,999 times.....On my bad days he says I'm aggressive and opinionated...well that's his opinion anyway, I know better. Your hubby sounds like my long lost brother-in-law....lol

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  19. ...I am sorry what did you say?

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  20. How come your husband sounds like mine and hers and hers and hers....How can we all live in different states, areas and more and our husbands are the same?
    I love this post. So true, so real.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Take care and have a blessed evening.

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  21. This is one reason I love it when my daugther is visiting. I know I'm not losing my mind when my husband starts talking about something I mentioned five minutes before like it's a brand-new-idea! Good god, they really are alike aren't they?

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  22. Alessandra- Aggressive and opinionated? Apparently, so am I! LOL

    Kipp- ROTFLOL!

    Julie- It's universal!

    Lee- Yes! Our girls see it too so I know it's not just me!

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  23. That's hilarious!!! I swear, it must be in the genes...
    LOL

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