Friday, August 17, 2012

Up the Creek

Sometimes things will happen to you during your young empty nest years that will make you start to understand that these years are not as bad as you first thought.

Yesterday was one of those days for me.

My brother and SIL called to tell me they were in town and asked if I would like to have lunch. I immediately said, "Yes!" Because I could.

When the lovelies were coming along, I would have said something like, "I really wish I could," followed immediately by something like this:
  • "but I have to take someone to the dentist/orthodontist/doctor."
  • "but I have to take someone to practice/rehearsal/class/lesson."
  • "but we're on our way to a game/performance."
  • "but I have to take the girls school shopping."
  • "but I have to pick the girls up from school."
  • "but the girls have company over right now."
  • "but someone is not feeling well."
  • "but there is no one to watch the girls right now."
  • "but we are on our way to a movie/the beach/wherever."
Not yesterday. No Siree Bob! It was a "YES" plain and simple. And so we went.

It's actually nice to be able to spend time with my brother and SIL. We can do this kind of thing whenever we want to now. I like that.

We went to Red's Ice House on Shem Creek. Funny, Deanie used to work there in the summers during her college years which made us think of her and miss her. Red's is not a place one frequents when one is looking to eat only healthy/organic type foods so we don't go often- like maybe once every year or two. Plus, it's really more about the younger crowd- fried foods, bars, bands at night. You know, the sort of place we sought out during our college and pre-parent years. But when we do go we have a good time and we eat that food that we don't eat anymore. And then there's the very appealing view. Yesterday was no exception. We had a fabulous view of shrimp boats---

and a few 'other' boats---

and some kayakers (is that a word?) adding a little color---

and a chocolate lab enjoying a day on the water-"Avast ye land lubbers! Thar be pirates 'round here!"---

and a laughing gull---

and a pelican---

and a dolphin, or a porpoise...whatever, it was awesome---

 and a guy who had nothing better to do but fish and rinse his boat off....Hey, I'm not judging. I'm jealous!

Do I miss the days when the lovelies were little? Yes I do. Nearly every single day. But there are times now that I can appreciate the nest being empty.

Days when I can go out and enjoy the company of my brother and SIL and come home feeling good about my life and know that I am blessed by my family no matter what stage we're in or where we are.

I still look forward to the times the lovelies will be home for a visit. But I've learned how to enjoy myself during those in between times.

In between times when the kids are growing up are short because there are usually only minutes between drop offs and pick ups. In between times when the nest is empty can span days, weeks, months...How do you spend your in between times?


  1. Love your pics! The dolphin is so cool! I'm 40 and have no lovelies of my own, but I can appreciate the feeling of just being able to let go and have lunch when you want after having so many commitments(well, now that I am not in school I can say yes)...enjoy that freedom!!!

  2. What lovely photographs. I would be washing my boat too. What a nice vessel. That is so nice you got to go out to lunch like that. I guess I am not there yet. I am sort of in between. My youngest is 17 so he will be around for awhile I think.
    I like how you have adapted so well.
    It really gives me something to look forward to when it finally happens for good. :) At least I know where I can come on blue days.

  3. Rochelle- Thanks! We were so excited about seeing the dolphin, you'd think we'd never seen one before! LOL

    Kim- Thanks! It is a nice vessel- one that I was sitting there coveting. LOL You know I'm always here!

  4. Oh, wow! And you were just sitting there enjoying lunch AND those scenes? Oh, wow!

  5. Stephanie- Yep. That's why dining on Shem Creek is so desirable! There are plenty of restaurants there- Red's is the most laid back. Which is one reason we choose it every time.

  6. That is a great place to have lunch, man, I totally enjoyed your photos!

    Like you, I have my days of missing the hustle and bustle BUT, I think I do enjoy the empty nest too, if that makes any sense at all. I like the less work, less wash, less cleaning and less fretting, "What's for dinner?" and schedules. Now, I take time to read, and goof of on the computer, some days I enjoy favorite shows, other times I run around,which is all kind of nice :)

  7. When we visited the Charleston area 3 years ago, we stayed at the Shem Creek Inn - and loved it!

    My nest has been empty for almost 16 years now ... and while I miss the days when DD was little, I'm also enjoying this season of life.

  8. This post has made me feel so much better about the fact that Holly is off to Uni in a couple of weeks. Thank you x

  9. Great photos. Shrimp boats always make me think of Forrest Gump - Lol. You ask how I spend my in between times?? I'll let you know if I ever get any!! :)

  10. Lucy- Thanks! You should come go with us sometime! We’d love to have you! I’ve started enjoying the emptiness of the nest too. It just took me three years to do it. LOL

    Kathy- I was thinking about what it would be like to stay there when we were at lunch right across from it. My SIL told my brother that she wants to stay there someday just for fun. He’s very sweet so I know he’ll do that for her soon. I’m enjoying it now. Finally. I thought, at first, that I never would.

    Lyndylou- Oh wow! The first time one goes to college is very emotional. Who am I kidding? It was emotional when each of the lovelies went off to school! Give me a shout if you need a shoulder! I’m here!

    LP- Thanks!

    Kim- I think of him too! Love that movie. And shrimp boats. LOL Hope you get some between times soon!

  11. Yep, yep....don't get me wrong, I love my two that they've grown to responsible adults and love that they both keep track of us and make sure they remember to call once in awhile, and send photos, etc.

    But they ARE adults now, and it's time for us to be independent of caring for them. That doesn't mean we don't love 'em or never stop being concerned about their welfare,....but we can do just what you did yesterday...enjoy the day!!!

  12. I never looked at my years raising my children as a life long job. I believed I was given the responsibility to give them direction and set them free to find their own way.

    Sure I can look back and remember all the great times we had when they were growing up, but I enjoy this time in my life as well. I put the boys needs before mine, as I believed I should and now I get to have ME time.

    I don't have as much me time as I thought I would at this stage. My oldest son lives just 2 miles from me and his children are here for parts of nearly every day (5-6) times a week. But it's different being just grandma, the big decisions are left to their parents.

  13. It is wonderful to be able to spend time enjoying life!...:)JP

  14. Anni- And you and Bud sure do know how to enjoy a day! I love seeing all the sights you share on your blog! You should write a book!

    Lois- I never did either. I just didn't realize it would end so soon. I think that was one of the problems I had. I always put the girls' needs before mine and, when they headed out on their own, I wasn't sure how to put ME first. I'm figuring it out now though. LOL

    JP- It sure is! :)

  15. I am sooooooo going to miss Sheldon when she moves to California in January.

  16. What a beautiful place! Love the photos. Next time, let me know so I can come too! Good to see that the kayakers were not 'up a creek without a paddle!' ;-)

  17. What pretty photos! It looks like that restaurant has a lovely & relaxing location. I'm glad you got to enjoy some time with your brother & SIL.

    Visiting from SITS :)

  18. MT- Oh goodness ! I know you will! You'll have to stay in touch--I'm here with a shoulder if you need me!

    Judy- I will let you know! And you can stay with us! From your little joke there, I just know you'll get along perfectly with my brother. Who just happened to make the same one while we were there. LOL

    Nicole- Thanks! Relaxing is for sure and the view is always pleasant. Thanks!

  19. So glad you were able to go, looks like a lovely place to visit.


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