Saturday, January 11, 2014


I was reading the other day and I came across a comment that it is difficult not to let a sense of entitlement creep into family life these days. My immediate reaction was- HOGWASH.

After longer thought, my reaction remained the same. That's just a load of crap.

It might creep into the lives of the lazy family. It might creep into the lives of the family with parents too busy to pay attention. It might creep into the lives of the family with overindulgent parents. But it's not difficult to keep it out of the family.

I have to wonder if it's just a matter of people not thinking or not worrying about what happens when their kids grow up. Maybe they don't want to deal with whiny, misbehaving kids so they give in to whatever the kids want just to keep the peace. Maybe these parents just don't know any better and think they are doing the right thing.

Regardless, it's not difficult to keep that sense of entitlement out of our homes. We just have to set our standards and stick to them. If we don't want kids with a sense of entitlement, then we don't do everything for them while they sit back and relax. No one else in this wide world is going to do everything for them. When they get out into this world, they will be expected to be able to make a contribution. The world is not here to serve these children. They need to be ready to get out there and take advantage of all the wonderful things the world has to offer. If they go out expecting that they will be granted their every wish, they are going to be disappointed in a HUGE way. And disliked. And not respected. And shunned.

To put it simply- no matter how much we would like to think our kids are the perfect/donowrong types, they aren't. None of us are. That type does not exist.


When did we stop leaving the responsibility for bad behavior with anyone and everyone BUT the parents/teachers and other authorities with whom our children interact? Sweet little darlings. How could something so cute and sweet ever be responsible for reprehensible actions?

Instead of pointing fingers, it's time to start leaving the responsibility with the individual. Whether it's an adult or a cute little kid, we are, each and every one of us, responsible for our own individual choices. And I believe it's better that our children learn that from the people who love them most rather than as a slap in the face with a 2x4 from someone who isn't going to take that kind of crap from anyone out in the real world.

Ah, parents This is not difficult. This is necessary. This is YOUR responsibility. YOU are the teachers of your children. Your choice is this: Teach your child life skills or, don't, and wait for someone else to do it in the school of hard knocks.

What do y'all think?


  1. Well put! I know an acquaintance that's allowing a truly terrible disservice to their child; Divorced parents both with high-figure incomes trying to buy the child's loyalty and giving him anything he wants when he's with either parent. Honestly, poor kid! I get the impression neither one wants to be a full time parent but they give him a lot of "things."

    Saddest thing is adults don't realize how much the kids know and will play it against the middle so they get what they want; It's what they've been taught. It's also as you said, not how they will grow into respectable adults.

  2. This is an extremely well-said post, and so very true. As an educator, family member and parent myself, I have been baffled as I have observed this 'shift' in parenting. I am not sure where it started. I am a product of the 70's/80's and grew up with the parenting style of expectations and responsibility on me. We had to get jobs when we were old enough if we wanted things. We weren't automatically given everything. A big part of it was that parents weren't afraid to BE parents and SAY NO. That concept has seemed to all but disappear now.

    As the comment above exemplifies, I do think one big contributor IS the rise in divorce. The parents dueling for favor by buying the child(ren) things is so common. There is a well-known term: DisneyDad (or Mom) to label the fun, indulgent parent if one happens to be more so than the other in a divorce situation.

    I honestly think another contributor (although maybe minor) is social media. In my day, if you wanted to show people your child's baby pictures, you had to drag out a 70 page album and get people to sit through looking through the pages, often politely. It was kind of a joke to subject people to your baby or vacation pictures. Now? People willingly post picture after picture after picture of their cherub, baby eating mush, baby climbing out of cabinets (OH ISN"T HE SO AMAZING???), baby _____________(sleeping, crying, pitching a fit, putting phones in toilets...insert any number of things) and it is like some sense of subconscious glorification. Does that make sense?

    Not that our 1970's mothers didn't love us less. They thought we were cute. They even documented some of our cuteness on film or Polaroid. But every move? No. They seemed to have a more balanced view of us. Cute, yes. Able to wreck havoc and need a good pop on the bottom at any given moment? Absolutely.

    Anyway, just my take. Love this post!

  3. Well, I admit to having opinions for both sides, I do think parent involvement like it is now is just over the top nuts. I think not giving a teacher the tools to discipline a kid is crazy. But then there are the times when there are just crazy teachers that need to be out of the system. So it is a hard situations all the way around. My parents in 1969 considered all teachers and principals to be next to God. Never mind the abuse that went on like the teacher that had all of the girls sit on his lap or the teachers that would knock a kid down or the teacher after lunch who would be so drunk I was the teacher. She always let me run the class room.
    I do think though, parents are a big part of the problem more than the teachers.
    My parents wouldnot have done a thing. So I see how and why people now feel the way they do.

  4. The Pres and I have this discussion about our own children as well as our grandkids. Those that act responsibly seem to be more successful than those who are were not "there" for the lessons!...:)JP

  5. Well written. You are SO RIGHT!!


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