Monday, March 6, 2017

Can You Have Too Much Change?

I think so. I believe that there are folks who might bring on more change to try and feel better about a change that left them feeling empty. Perhaps it's best to take the time to adjust to the heavy changes before we try to make ourselves feel better with what we think are smaller changes.

Take the lady who was having such a difficult time with her nest becoming empty that she couldn't seem to find purpose in anything she did. So this empty nest lady decided to make a few other changes in an effort to feel better about herself. She had worn her hair the very same way for decades- long and layered but decided a haircut would make her feel better. She told the hairdresser not to go too short. I'm pretty sure we're all aware of what happened next. It was too short. It was a drastic change and she couldn't stop crying. No offered solace from anyone eased her pain. She sobbed and sobbed. 

I don't think she realized that changing something that's been the same for over 20 years was going to affect her as it did. After all, it was just a haircut. People, it's never JUST a haircut. I know because I've been there. You have to be careful when choosing what you want to change to make you feel better about something that's already changed. Does that make sense?

The more I hear from moms having a difficult time with their empty nest, the more grateful I become that I didn't have to walk that path. Yes, it was an adjustment but it really didn't take that long to become a welcomed adjustment. I get it, though. Most of us moms do devote ourselves to our children from the moment we know we're pregnant. We're ready and willing to give up anything in order to give our devotion to these precious babies. Our love for them doesn't go away as they grow up but our mommy role changes. 

It's not super easy and simple to go from full out to nothing to do but sit down. But aren't we tired from all that time and energy we devoted for at least 18 years? Don't we need to sit down a minute? Don't we need to take a breath?

After all the time we spend devoting our lives to the raising of our kids to the very best of our ability it will take time to adjust. It's going to be different. But it doesn't have to take us down. We did our best and it's time to let our kids be the adults they are going to be. We have to cut those strings and stop being clingy. We need to find other ways to fill those now-empty hours from the plethora of options out there. 

Just take it slow and give the process time. I know we're not used to giving something time because we're always on go when we were raising kids but we have to learn. Of course, you don't want to give the process as much time as I did and get lazy but...Ha! Seriously, processes take time. We have to be patient.     

Whatever you do, though don't get the haircut until AFTER you've adjusted. 

What do y'all think about change? Can we do too much too soon?


  1. So when I saw the title of your post, I thought you were talking about change in a jar. I thought oh good some ideas for change. :)
    I saw my Mom go through that empty nest change very badly. I knew I didn't want to do that. Change is never fun, but it is a choice. To accept it and move on or sit back and cry about it. I think for me its easier to just get busy and keep going. Have a great week Pam

    1. Haha! I wonder how many of us have spare change lying around these days? Everyone seems to use debit cards instead of cash. I bet a lot of younger people can't even make change. I remember you telling me about your mom. I didn't have much trouble either. But that poor lady with the haircut. You know it had to be deeper than just the haircut. You have a good week too, Kim! We're going back up into the high 70s so I've flat out given up on winter. I'm so sad it didn't come again this year.

  2. I have at a couple of times in my life had terrible hair cuts that have made me want to cry

    1. I think, in this case, she went for too much change at one time. Her hair was only a few inches shorter than it was and she hadn't tried to do anything with it. But I know what you mean. I've had those haircuts myself.


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