Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Teaching the Old Dog New Tricks

Getting old is not for sissies. Raise your hand if you've heard that one. Raise your hand if you've reached the age where you realize it's a true statement. Anyone else wake up in the morning with a smile and immediately remember you need to take inventory before trying to get out of bed? How about getting up carefully so you can steady yourself so you don't take a tumble on your way to the bathroom instead of jumping up ready to hit the gym? And speaking of the bathroom, by the time you do wake up to start the day how many other times were you up during the night? Those 8 glasses of water keep us busy, don't they?

If you drink a gallon of water every day, 
you won't have time for other people's drama
because you'll be too busy peeing.

Wasn't it just a couple years ago when I could get up and do what I had to do? I know I got slower but these other nuisances took me by surprise. Of course, as Dad would quickly remind me, at least you're moving. Yes indeed. Moving just in a different way. And with caution.

Even in the kitchen, I'm finding things I have to do differently, too. For example, I'm left-handed and my index finger on my left hand has developed what feels like arthritis, not surprising as it has been in my family for generations but which, in no uncertain terms- sucks. So, I'm having to find different ways to hold cooking utensils and might even have to teach myself to use them with my right hand. And please try to open packages when both of your thumbs have arthritis issues as well. It's like I'm going to have to learn how to be something without opposable thumbs. Let's be honest though, a lot of the packaging was impossible to open before this happened without using scissors. Or a hacksaw. And for goodness sakes y'all when it comes to dicing up onions into tiny pieces that task is so much easier if you use the sharp edge of the knife whether your fingers have pain or not.   

The appetite changes. Hardly anything tastes all that great anymore which is super good because there are pounds needing to be shed but super bad because it doesn't stop me from eating it just stops me from enjoying it so much. And we won't even go into the digestive issues that accompany the aging process because those of you who have reached a certain age are probably already familiar and those who are not of a certain age well, just don't even worry about it until you get there. 

I went car shopping and I'm still in the search process. How terrible is it when you go looking for a car and you just find one you like but decide against it because it's too high and will hurt your hip but it can't be too low because it's too much of a strain on your back and knees when you climb out and if you think that's easy when you stand 5'10" think again. 

Items located on low shelves are reached by other people or else they stay put until someone else is around who doesn't have a problem with their back. And heavy stuff? I used to be able to outlift a lot of people but not so much anymore. Unless I want to pull about a thousand muscles. If there's no one around to help out the heavy stuff stays put because I am not a fan of my hands and/or back screaming at me in their high pitched voices. I'm one of those who likes to make sure things are nice and clean under the furniture and being the fridge and now I let a cleaning service do it and yes I did ask if they went under the furniture. They do. Whew.

What about lighting? Seriously, is there a light bright enough to read that small print without shining the light directly onto the page or bottle or whatever? This is where Amazon gets a high five from me for offering free Kindle downloads directly onto my phone and computer enabling me to read anything I want at any time. Yay!

Have any of you tried standing up from a low seat while holding a two-year-old who loves you to pieces and doesn't want you to put her down? Luckily, there is something I call 'super Amma powers' that allows me to rise up from that low seat with Lula Mae in my arms without screaming. Ok, I am screaming but it's in my head because externally I am all smiles that say, "why yes, sweetie, Amma would love to hold you while getting up out of this low chair and carry you into the nursery to play because y'all, look at this face. Who wouldn't do anything she wants?

Seriously, what in the world did people who don't have SOs or four daughters who are more than willing to help you with these things do?

All in all, I really have no complaints. What I have are differences and the whole problem is learning how to readjust and deal with those differences. Changing my nutritional intake, practicing Yoga and meditation, walking, making sure I'm lifting with my legs, blah blah blah. It's not that I don't know what to do it's that I am not doing it.

As my friend, Leslie, says at Les Than Perfect, take it slow and easy. Just change one tiny little 10-minute thing at a time. Ok, I can probably do that. Do y'all think sleeping in an extra 10 minutes/day is what she had in mind?

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  1. Raising my hand!!!!! I got a steroid shot in my middle finger on my right hand. What a difference. I agree with everything you are saying and what amazes me more than anything is that my dad at 95 can still do stuff. What's up with that. I won't be able to do anything at 95!!!

    1. Oh I don't know if I could do a shot in my finger. Yikes! Was it painful? Yes about your dad. Drives me nuts, too. :)

  2. Agree with all the above - especially the night peeing...driving me absolutely crazy at this point!!! HA

    1. It's not good motivation for getting those 8 glasses in every day, is it? LOL

  3. You wrote this about me didn't you..............

  4. All true... but I can't even hold an empty water bottle if I have to get up out of a low chair. My knees are shot to heck. BUT... consider the alternative. I'm happy to figure out how to function around the infirmities. LOL


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