Thursday, March 17, 2011


When I was younger (and way more shallow than I am now) one of the most important characteristics of a good relationship for me was physical chemistry.  If a guy looked good, he warranted a second look.  If he still looked good, then we had something to work with.  Once I entered grad school, physical chemistry alone proved inadequate.  At that point, the physical attraction combined with intellectual chemistry became a must—with the intellectual focus being in the arts, history, literature, etc.  A hot math or science guy’s intellect would have been wasted on me because I wouldn’t have been able to argue with him I would have had no idea what the hell he was talking about.  Of course, after grad school, I met Hubs.  He was a sweet talker. You really have to be careful with a sweet talker as they can make you forget everything else that you thought was important to you. 

Looking back, I still understand where I was coming from in the type of chemistry I was looking for in boytoys.  I can also see where my requirements have changed over the many years that have left me antiquated old older.  I have to admit that I still find the ‘ol physical attraction...attractive.  However, it does not hold first place all by itself.  Indeed not.  First place is now tied with the intellectual, sports, and How-will-you-keep-me-entertained chemistries.  The physical chemistry is self-explanatory.  If I am physically attracted, there will be intimacy.  The intellectual chemistry is a must because I am vehemently opposed to arguing with a moron.  Yes, I realize that men are morons aren’t as smart as women men can be as intellectual as women but a man must be able to utter a complete,comprehensible sentence participate in a spirited, intellectual argument without sounding like complete and utter nonsense is spewing from his mouth.  I must have feisty arguments over opposing viewpoints--I just really enjoy them.  And it’s always a nice touch if his argument is thought-provoking and clever even though he’s going to lose.  At the very least he should not stumble right out of the gate.  The sports chemistry ties for the number one spot because I LOVE SPORTS and so must he.  It is helpful if he is heartfelt about the same teams as I, but not necessary.  This sports chemistry must be present for football season (college and NFL), college basketball (not completely necessary until March Madness), and soccer.  Nearly all other sports are considered a waste of time although I do make allowances for baseball because it was my granddaddy’s favorite sport and Hubs and DD4 love it.  Saturdays and Sundays are reserved for football during football season and no plans should be made that do not involve the watching of, yelling at, and cheering for that is also required under the sports chemistry.  Finally, there must be the How-will-you-keep-me-entertained chemistry.  This is probably the easiest attraction of the four because, if the chemistry is there for the other categories, I will be entertained.  Although, admittedly, a DRY sense of humor is a super huge plus.  Oh, and maybe truck loads of patience...  (Lucky for me, Hubs ended up being a good match on all the necessary attractions PLUS he possesses the dry humor and has at least a truck load of patience!).   

Disclaimer:  No men were injured during the writing of this post.  Everyone who knows me knows how I kid around ALL THE TIME about the differences between men and women. AND, being a woman, the female side is always going to come out on top.        
This is the 16th day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for the month of March. The theme for this month is: in a word! My chosen word for today is: RELATIONSHIP based on yesterday's prompt which was: What's more important in a relationship, physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, intellectual chemistry, or something else altogether? And, because I was not in the mood for serious, so I decided to have a bit of fun. 


  1. I am so glad we are no longer shallow. LOL I've always loved a good discussion-cum-argument, but only if personal attacks can be kept out of it. 'Let's stick with the facts, ma'am, just the facts.' Once personal attacks enter in, it's all over as far as I'm concerned, for then it's just an emotional free-for-all. Don't like that AT ALL.

  2. Omg, you are too funny! What a nice story. You are a gifted writer, and I admire that so much.
    Thanks for keeping me entertained!


  3. Judy- Agreed. Which is why there are a couple of taboo topics for Hubs and I--politics being one. We sit on opposing sides of the fence and he gets really angry with me.

    Susan-Thank you so much! You are too kind!

  4. So, as we age, we are supposed to become less shallow? Who knew...

  5. Just dropped by for my morning smile. You have a great attitude towards life!

  6. Beth- Oh, I'm still shallow...just not as. LOL

  7. Great post!
    Aren't I the lucky one Hubby is very funny and rich - oh sorry I meant to type good looking not rich! Shallow me? never!

  8. Great post!
    I too love a good spirited debate. To be perfectly honest with you, it was one of the first things that attracted me to my husband. He was one of the only guys that I dated who actually would have an opinion that differed from mine.

  9. Carol- You've really got to watch those Freudian slips girl! LOL

    Jessica- Thank you! They are fun, aren't they? I have a good friend who loves to do this too! Keeps us on our toes!

  10. That's what I like to see - high standards when selecting a male! It sounds like your strategy paid off. Huzzar!

  11. Rich, good looking, smart, romantic, rich (oh I said that), that's what I was looking for at 17, at 18 I married good looking and, nope, romantic, nope.
    I love your post. You really are a great writer. Keep them coming.
    Take care and God Bless!!

  12. Isn't being mature a blessing at times? I can say that for sure having had to begin a new relationship after being married to my soul mate. Lots of things don't matter at 50 that mattered too much at 21. Great post.

  13. Annie-Ha! I just got lucky--he sweet talked me into it! LOL

    Julie- LOL! You are too funny! And very encouraging! Thank you!

    Barb-True. Hey, when's the move?

  14. Don't mind me - I am just visiting from Mars. ;)

  15. I always thought physical chemistry is the gate to everything else. i don't care how funny, smart or rich a guy is, if I can't stand him, I can't stand him. Great post.

  16. Kipp- how's the weather there? LOL

    Alessandra- Excellent point!


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