Tuesday, April 5, 2011

D is for Dumb

I was so excited this past weekend.  Hubs and I had been busy with the three raised beds- he with the drip irrigation and rain barrel set-up; me with the bed prep and planting.  It was quite a productive weekend.  On Saturday, we even took a trip to the local hardware store for a few more flowers and some little thingys Hubs needed for the irrigation system he has devised. 
When Sunday rolled around, we needed to make two trips out- one to Wal-Mart and one to Lowes.  Oh, joy.  I decided to let Hubs experience the pleasure of Lowes by himself while I stayed behind to finish planting the last raised bed (because I'm nice like that sometimes).  Hubs needed a few more connecter thingys before he could finish connecting the drip irrigation to the third bed and the local hardware store is closed on Sundays.  While at Lowes, he didn’t see what he was looking for, so he did something really dumb.  He asked a Lowes employee for help.  

Employee: “They don’t make those anymore.”  (Which is our Lowes speak for: I am not interested in what you need or want and I am not going to actually be of help to you in any wayshapeform today or any other day that you decide to shop here thankyouverymuch).
Hubs: “Is that right?” 
Employee: “Yessir.”
Hubs:  “Interesting.  Because I just bought some at Royal’s yesterday.”
Employee:  Stares blankly into space.

I have been in Lowes in other towns and I am not kidding, ours is the absolute WORST. 

At Wal-Mart, things went much better.  We bought yet more flowers, green leaf lettuce plants, garlic and shallot bulbs (I LOVE shallots and they are so EXPENSIVE in the grocery store), some potting soil, blahblahblah and a brand new rake.  And the brand new rake is----are you ready?---RED!  I got a brand new RED rake!  I was so excited that I sent a mass text message out to about 20 people (staying within the confines of the family because the family does not like me to go outside the family with these kinds of messages) announcing my brand new RED rake with promises to send pictures of it ASAP!  Here’s a picture of my brand new RED rake:
That is my rake.  It is brand new.  It is RED

As we were walking to the car I was still going on and on about my brand new RED rake to Hubs. 

“Do you see this?” (pointing finger excitedly at rake)
“Do you know what this is?”
“It’s my brand new RED…wait.” (This is when I realized that I had been very dumb)
“Why the hell am I so excited about this brand new RED rake?”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is this means that I no longer have an excuse.  It means that I have to rake all those damn oak leaves up in the front yard, doesn’t it?”
“I was wondering when you were going to make that connection.”
 Here's a picture of some of those damn oak leaves that I have to rake up with my brand new RED rake:

Stupid oak tree leaves.  They came from---
This tree AND...

This tree. And why they do this in the SPRING is beyond me.

Luckily, the scanner at Lowes didn’t work any better than the employee wouldn’t read the barcode on the big trash bags so Hubs just left them there.  Now I have to wait until one of us remembers to buy some for bagging up the leaves.  I’m not writing it down.  And that’s not dumb…that’s smart. 

This is the 4th day of the A-Z Blog Challenge for the month of April.  I decided to try this challenge in the hopes of keeping some momentum going; getting my brain to stay warmed-up; and trytrytry to improve my writing--well, really, to find my voice.  Want to try it?  Just click the badge on my sidebar to join in the challenge!  


  1. you crack me up. i would have been excited over a red rake too. who knows, maybe it will help you rake faster since it has that zippy color!

    p.s. i've been so busy that i havent had a chance to come over here and congratulate you on your weight loss so far. you are doing great! we've got a long road ahead of us with our big goals but we can totally do this! slow and steady :)

  2. Momma- I hadn't thought about the raking maybe going faster! Good point! Thank you so much for the encouraging comment! Slow and steady is right---I would love to see a little fast and speedy though! LOL

  3. It doesn't take much to get us going sometimes uh? Thanks for your words, I'm going to join the A to Z blog thingy too, gotta try to be a little more consistent with my writing. Hope the wind kicks all those leaves down the road before hubs comes back with the trash bags..

  4. Oh I am so excited by your red rake as well! Don't you just love it when the mundane stuff gets funky? You'll be admiring it for years to come while hubby is raking the leaves! Ha ha ha ;)

  5. Too bad your Lowe's is so bad. Ours is the opposite. You can't walk three feet without someone asking if they can help you. It get annoying. Surely, there's a happy medium.

    I have that same rake. You'll get over the excitement quickly enough. Maybe you need some really cute gloves to wear while you use it. Oh, and a hat! With a scarf! Sorry, getting a little carried away here.

    Your story reminds me of when I bought a book about speed cleaning the house. I took it to work and raved about all the tips. A fellow employee was watching me like I was nuts. I said 'you probably think I'm crazy for buying a book like this.' She replied, 'no, I think you're crazy for being so excited to use it!'

  6. I can SO relate to those unhelpful Lowes employees!!! I love your new RED rake! LOL

  7. Alessandra- I'll be looking forward to reading your daily posts! I hope the wind blows the leaves away too---though the neighbors won't be all that thrilled! LOL

    lyndy- LOL That's too funny! Yes, I do love it when the mundane stuff gets funky!

    Beverly-I have the cute gloves and the hat---but no scarf...hmmmm...LOL

    Kathy-They drive me NUTS over there. In all the years we've been going I have found exactly two people who were knowledgeable AND helpful- they didn't stay there long. Thank you! It's so pretty! And RED!

  8. Ha, ha, ha. I;m still laughing at your red rake excitement. I get that way over any tool or appliance that is red. Love. It. Raking the oak leaves - not so much. But, maybe red can make it fun :)

  9. Stephanie- I do too! I have a red Kitchen Aide mixer and a red toaster both of which I LOVE! I'm hoping that the red does make the raking fun---or at least tolerable!

  10. I hope you take pictures of your new gardens when they are planted and starting to grow.

    Have a good day.


  11. Susan- I will be posting the raised beds and their irrigation very soon! Thanks!


    Not only are you clever - but you're funny - and that's the best combination I can think of!!!

    You know - I've heard leaves make excellent mulch! I bet if you "forget" those bags long enough you can automagically mulch the lawn?!?!

  13. Donna- Thank you so much! You are way too kind, but I love it! That sounds good in theory, but there is no lawn in the front yard because of the oak trees. So they have to be raked up...dang it!

  14. I heart your red rake! My is standard issue green and, I am sure, is nowhere near as much fun to use!

    Is it me? But I thought trees were supposed to drop their leaves in Autumn? Sounds like you have a particularly pedantic species on your hands ;-)

  15. Fun post and I love your new red rake too!

  16. Annie-I thought the same thing. Apparently, live oaks retain their leaves all winter and shed them in the fall. Either way, it's a PAIN! Even with the red rake!

    Brenda Susan- Thanks! I'm getting some major use out of it!

  17. Lowe's and Wally World on the same day and you let hubs got to Lowe's all by himself??? THE BOSS would NEVER turn me loose in Lowe's without adult supervisions. I have credit cards and know how to use them!

    re damned oak leaves: I let Mother nature blow them across the street so that idiot had to rake them up. I don't have a single good thing to say about that jerk so I'll shut up now.

  18. I think I know that Sales Clerk! I'm pretty sure I ran into him at the Home Depot. At least, it sure sounds like the same guy - the complete and total lack of help, the blank stare.

  19. Gosh, at our Lowe's I can not go to the restroom without some employee asking me if I need help.

    I love your Brand New Red Rake! Heck, I almost wet my pants when I found my Brand New Leopard Print Broom!
    I just love getting new toys.

    Great idea to plant shallots, I may have to do that.

  20. Chip-Hubs is not the one who over spends at Lowe's...it's me! LOL And trust me, if mother nature would blow the leaves into the neighborfromhell's yard, I would let her at it!

    Kara-He probably does work there too! LOL

    Shawn-Leopard Print Broom????? Please post picture immediately!

  21. Jim tried to buy me my own shovel last year. I declined, he got it anyways and it stays in the shed lots more then in my hand. I hate shovels, rakes anything with a handle. I still scoop chicken poop with the pitch fork. I still shovel tons and tons of pea rock and I plant trees and shrubs with the shovel. Enjoy your Red Rake, at least you won't lose it in the leaf pile. Take care Pam and have a blessed evening.

  22. I love it that you got so excited about a RED rake!!!! Would we ever have thought that we would have done that when we were in our 30's or even 40's!!! I'm so with you about the leaves though. We have so many trees in our garden, and it is my least favourite job, raking them all up! I hate it! We have those employees over here too! (Spit!). By the way, what colour did you say the rake was ?! LOL!!

  23. There is something for you over at mine today.

    Have a great day

  24. I sure hope you are enjoying your new red rake. I am busy catching up on blog reading and trying to get the garden ready for spring so know how you feel.

  25. Julie- Had I put more thought into the whole thing, the rake would certainly have stayed at the store. LOL

    Deirdra-Thank you!

    This- I still haven't gone out there to do it, but I know that I must! LOL

    lyndy- Thank you!

    Lindy-Haven't enjoyed it yet, but the time is close at hand. LOL


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