Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Between Time

The amount of time between beginning our family and the lovelies being grown up and out on their own was jet propelled. I’ve never had time pass by so quickly. And it wasn’t just a year or two. There was at least one lovely at home for a quarter of a century. How did it happen that I woke up one morning only to discover that they had deserted their mother they were old enough to be out on their own?

 Was I too busy? Was I not paying attention? Were my eyes closed? Well, I was busy but not too busy. I was paying attention and my eyes were wide open. I know this because I have at least a GAZILLION memories of every waking second of that quarter century. 

So, how is it that it’s all over so soon? 

You know when you look out the passenger side window going about 70 mph (or 90 if my speed demon Hubs is driving) how the trees clip by so fast you get dizzy accompanied by a bit of nausea? That’s how raising the lovelies seems to me now. Fast. Speedy quick. Over in a flash. 
Didn’t DoodleBug just give herself a really bad haircut this year? Didn’t Breezy just get that fish keychain stuck on her finger last week? Didn’t Birdie just yesterday climb up the closet organizers before she was walking? Didn’t Deanie just dance in the Nutcracker last Christmas? 
Shouldn’t I be exhausted from all the chauffeuring to and from 100 different places all at once? Don’t I need to get up early tomorrow morning and prepare breakfast before school for four sleepy headed daughters and one hard working husband? Isn’t it my turn for driving the carpool? Don’t I have to be at school for volunteering? Shouldn’t there be projects cluttering up the dining table? Where are those mounds of laundry that need washing and drying before tomorrow morning? Wait, what about that book report? Soccer practice? Softball? A piano lesson? Dance classes?
No. None of that anymore. There hasn’t been any of it for three years now. Looking back, I should probably still be tired and trying to recuperate from all the busy-ness of raising the lovelies. I should be enjoying this time at home. But the fact is, I can’t find one single thing to do that fills my time with as much fun and enjoyment as raising a family did.    

No, I’m not one of those moms who suffers depression when the kids grow up and leave the nest (and thankfully so because I’ve seen how devastating this can be). On the contrary. I couldn’t be more proud that each of the lovelies went to college (well, DoodleBug is still in college and Birdie is a grad student) and have made an independent life for themselves. I’m just one of those moms who is still trying to find ways to fill the between time. 

You know, the time between children and grandchildren.

Meanwhile, I will wait and discover new things to occupy my time. And look forward to nights like Wednesdays--

Zucchini Coffee Cake for dessert- recipe can be found HERE.

Veggie Chili with beans! One of my concoctions which means I didn't write anything down.


And Skyping with Birdie!
 And, next week, Deanie will be home for a couple of days! 

So much to look forward to--even in an empty nest!


  1. I hear ya girl, how the heck do I have a son almost 37 and a daughter 33. I cannot possible be old enough! Heehehehe!

    I made chili last night too!

    God bless ya and have an incredible day sweetie!!! :o)

  2. Nezzy- Right?! How in the world did it happen? And so dang fast! Thanks!

  3. The kids grow up so fast, don't they?!
    Mine are 19 and 23...and I wonder did that happen?
    Enjoy your day!

  4. Eva- I wonder that all the time. It hardly seems fair does it?

  5. I worked in the 'between time' so I didn't really notice that the house was empty. And now I can make kale and bean soup without anyone making a face :)

  6. Oh yes...I'm feeling this happen now. It seems that the older they get, the faster the time goes by. I still have a few more years before my two leave the nest and I am desperately trying to make time stand still - or at least slow down a bit - even as I am exhausted from doing the carpooling and waking up early to get them off to school and driving them all over for their activities. This was such a great post.

    That veggie chili looks delicious...and why is it that the best meals are the ones we just throw together?!!

  7. Ah, the grandbabies grow up even faster. I can't believe our oldest is EIGHT!!! That is quite a treat to see your kids become great parents. Just you wait. It is everything you ever hear.

  8. Love, love, love this post! I can identify completely. We also love skyping with our dear grown ones :) and can't wait for grandchildren . . . someday. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

  9. Stephanie- That would help but the funding for interventionists is lacking in our area. Kale and bean soup? Recipe please!

    Mommie- Thank you! Slow it down as much as you can! You'll have so much time to rest after that you'll go NUTS! It's always that way with meals, isn't it?

    Michele- WHAT?! Shut up and then tell me you don't mean it! I've got to find a way to slow this down!

    Lynn-Thank you! We'll be waiting on those grands a it seems. LOL

  10. I really look forward to getting together with the whole family. Isn't it fun to look at each one and see how they have grown into wonderful adults!
    It is a gift I appreciate each time we see them.

  11. At least you can rejoice that you did your job right and the lovelies are great young ladies. Now go cook something else, I need more recipes....:)

  12. Looks like your meal turned out wonderful. I don't think there is anything we could have done to change the passing of time. It was in the blink of an eye. I can't believe it happens like that. I am very proud of my children and was okay when they left. I do believe that is why we become grandparents.
    We will really treasure those moments with them. I wish my kids would get started!!!!!

  13. Hiya young one. Just woke up and wanted to say hi. I'm happy to hear that you're getting an infusion of kid love soon:)

  14. Couldn't agree with you more Pam. It's absolutely frightening how life zips by. How can I have a daughter of 40, and now my youngest is going to be 33 next week. And my eldest granddaughter will be 14 in December. I'm even seeing my grandchildren's lives zipping by now. I want it to STOP!!! Good post my friend, and one we can all relate to. Hugs, and hope you have a lovely weekend. It is great that you have those Wednesday evenings to look forward to!

  15. Here's the problem: Life's like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. ;-)

    Our youngest just flew the coop. Now it's just the dogs, cats, and us. At least I can count on the animals not to desert us. lol

  16. And in 2 weeks I get to see all my babies!!! I'm so excited.

  17. I had to skim...I really wanted to devour every word, but my kids are 11 and 14 and I can feel the time slipping. I love who they are becoming, but I just can't fathom them flying...away! Following you back!

  18. Susan- I agree. But I would appreciate it even more if they all lived close enough to see this every day. LOL

    Alessandra- True but I still wish they were all right here! I'm cooking this week...stay tuned!

    Debby- I think you're right about the grandparent thing. And I know we couldn't have changed the passage of time but I still wish we could- don't you? We just shouldn't have done such a great job. LOL

    Michele- Thanks! It's what keeps me going!

    Diane- It truly is a scary thing. I try and try to slow things down but to no avail. If I ever figure it out, I'll let you know!

    Judy- LOL Hilarious! I've never heard that before! Perfect analogy!

    Barb- I'm so excited for you!

    Andrea-It's hard. Definitely enjoy every moment!


Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me feel connected to everyone even though we may live far apart! Have a wonderful day!

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