Tuesday, October 4, 2011


I began yet another weight loss journey in June. Yep, another one. And the question to ask is, "Why ANOTHER one?"

Basically, it took several attempts because my mindset was completely wrong. Or, more likely, nonexistent. My motivation was wrong. My determination was lacking. My desire was fleeting. My direction was misguided.

Now, it's all different. Now, I am ready. Now, I get it. Now, my mindset is right on the money.

BUT, until I arrived at the right mindset, no amount of coddling, bullying, begging, trying, wanting was going to make those unhealthy pounds go away and stay away. I had to get to the point where I really, truly did NOT want to continue on my path of destruction.

I had to come to the realization that I was using food, people, situations, emotional fits, etc. as scapegoats for the real problem--ME.

It was NOT other people causing me to turn to food. It was me putting my expectations on them. I had a mindset of when/where/what/how of all I wanted from them and they were not complying. And why should they?! I know that when I put my expectations on others I am going to be disappointed. I also know that this is a completely ridiculous thing to do to people. We are only in control of ourselves, not others. Duh.

It was NOT situations of stress that caused me to turn to food. It was my inappropriate ways of dealing with those situations by using them as an excuse to turn to food. Are you seeing a pattern here? I do.

It was NOT my emotions causing me to turn to food when I was sad/angry/happy/stressed. It was my denial. My refusal to deal with the causes of these emotions.

It was NOT the food itself. It was my abuse of the food. I had convinced myself that I would feel better and be better able to deal with people and situations if I just ate. And ate. And ate. So I did.

Yes, I see how absolutely ridiculously errant this way of thinking was. But I see it NOW. I didn't see it then.

With this new found clarity of mind not only comes a healthier lifestyle including the types of food I eat and fitness coupled with weight loss, but it also comes with many other positives:
  • I no longer care whether or not the scale moves each week.
  • I care more about the types of food I eat and how it is prepared.
  • I appreciate a good sweat from working out as opposed to merely walking through my house.
  • I can walk between two chairs whereas before, I couldn't make it sucking in and turning sideways.
  • I can buckle my seat belt and still move.
  • I can pull my pants up without wiggling into them.
  • I can walk from my car to wherever without shortness of breath.
  • I can walk 6 miles in under an hour and a half and still have the energy to do whatever I want to do.
  • I can sit in a movie theater and put the arm rests down AND they go all the way down instead of resting on my hips.
  • I can bend over and touch the floor with the palms of my hands.
  • I can bend over and tie my shoes without grunting and becoming short of breath.
  • I can look down while walking and see all of me instead of just my feet. 
  • I can sit in a restaurant booth with actual space between my stomach and the table.
  • I can go to one of DoodleBug's ultimate frisbee tournaments, sit in the camp chair AND get up by myself without a struggle.
  • I can walk up a flights of stairs without breaking into a sweat and considering dialing 911.
  • I get to enjoy my ASICS every day.
  • I feel good about ME.
Of course, there are the occasional negatives. I have hit myself in the face with the cabinet door because the distance between me and the cabinet is less due to the decrease in belly fat. And, I've dropped things on my toes because the belly isn't big enough for them to hit or bounce off.

Ah, well. Good with the bad I suppose.


  1. That's so impressive. I'm on the brink of starting a diet, etc. I say on the brink because I've had a migraine for 5 of the past 7 days and there is just no way I'm starting a diet while dealing with a migraine too!

    You're my inspiration and role model though - hooray for you!!

    (PS. I'd love that recipe for the lotion, if you still have it. It sounds awesome!)

  2. AMEN!!! And you are right, it has to be us and only us that decides. Why I waited until I was 48 to do this journey when 38 would of been easier I haven't a clue but it did happen and next April when I turn 50 I will be more healthy, smaller sized, happier and in love with me because of it. I just had to grow up and blame me, not anyone else...it was all me. I love this post and that belly did save alot but not we just have to keep our feet back a bit futher or always wear shoes to save those toes and the cabinet, that didn't matter my size I hit them or they hit me all the time still. Mike and I were looking at pictures from a few years ago and I asked why did anyone let me get so big he looked at me and said we loved you then we love you now but now you love you. AWESOME!!!
    Take care Pam and have an awesome afternoon.

  3. Mommie- I will find that lotion recipe...it's here somewhere on my computer. It's nearly impossible to start anything when a migraine won't let go!

    Julie-That Mike is just the sweetest thing! Some young lady is going to be quite lucky to find him. I hope she's worthy! He reminds me of Hubs. Yes, 38 would have been easier but I guess we just weren't ready.

  4. I am glad you feel good bout yourself and these accomplishments. Dieting and losing weight is hard, even when you do it "right"!

  5. beth- Thanks! It took a while to get here, but I have arrived. You're right, it is difficult no matter what!

  6. I'm almost there...lol...almost!
    Hugs to you for BEING there...

  7. Great post, what do you think finally got your attention? What made you change your mind? I think that is the most important question, YOu did great, I'm confident you'll finish it. You go girl!

  8. The part about walking 6 miles and still having the energy to do other things shows us all who follow you, that you're on the right track!!!

  9. You encourage me, really you do! You have to want to diet/exercise in order for it to be successful in your life. You're so absolutely right on the money.

    Your sense of humor tickles me. We need to laught out ourselves from time to time, don't we?

    Check out some of my posts...
    Chit Chat On Patrice’s Farmhouse Porch
    Wayback Wednesdays…1993

    Have a good day!
    Cathy Kennedy, Children’s Author
    The Tale of Ole Green Eyes”

  10. Sush- Come on and join the fun! I'll be here when you're ready!

    Alessandra-I'm not sure what changed my mind or finally got me to this point. I think it was disgust at how and what I was eating and a complete, internal knowing that I had to do something. I think that's what it was. Thanks!

    Anni-Thanks girl! I'm loving my walking time!

    Cathy-Thank you! I'm glad you're encouraged! We definitely DO need to laugh at ourselves! So true!

  11. Such great results. These changes are huge!
    BTW, when I was on the planes the other day, I was rejoicing becaue I could actually comfortable fit into the seat. Not loving planes but it was better - and validating.

  12. Stephanie- I've been thinking about the plane thing. I do not like planes but thought I might take one to see Birdie. But then thought I wouldn't fit into the seat. Maybe now I will!

  13. Great post my friend and a healthy lifestyle is so much more positive than any faddy diet! Take Care and have a lovely Autumn my friend. I will not be commenting again until November as off travelling.

  14. LindyLou-Lucky you traveling! Hope it's all fabulous! Thanks for stopping by!

  15. You inspire me you know that right? Thanks for your helpful comments at my blog.
    I´m so happy for you, that you´ve lost so much weight and am dying to see a picture of this new you. Is that being too nosy?
    You are walking so fast. I´m impressed. I can barely manage 5k in an hour.

  16. Betty- No, you're not being too nosy. When I feel comfortable in front of the camera instead of behind it, I promise I'll post. And I hope that will be soon. I won't be finished at that point, but I will feel good enough to put up a picture. It's the music that makes me move. My feet want to keep time with the beat! Thanks Betty. I'm so glad that if I have to go through this, I can go through it with a friend like you!

  17. I like all of the wonderful things you have learned. It encourages me.

  18. FG- Thank you! Support and encouragement from friends like you really help keep me going!

  19. Sounds like your doing great, your in a good mind set and you should be very proud of yourself!

  20. Debby- I am so grateful that I FINALLY arrived at this mindset. It's so liberating!

  21. This post made me smile. Your reasons for turning to food are mine, too. In fact, when I get upset or mad, the first thing I do is start thinking of what I should eat. Yeah, that'll show 'em! I'll eat this whole bag of cookies! Kudos to you for realizing what you were doing and making good changes. It's working!

  22. Beverly- I'm glad I finally got to this mindset too. Otherwise, I'd have to fight you for that bag of cookies! LOL

  23. Great list! You're doing so well. Keep up the good work.

  24. Awesome list. I put makeup on today even though I did not go anywhere special...I bought the gbabies yogurt and juice at the convenience store opposed to buying soda and candy or donuts for them. Just getting on the wagon here, too. LOL


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