Monday, August 5, 2013

Did Yours Listen?

Kids, I mean.

As I recall, the lovelies did tend towards selective hearing. A trait I'm pretty sure was passed on from their dad because he's really good at it too.

Anyway, did your kids listen to you? Did they hang onto your every syllable? Did they stand at listening position speedy quick followed by the immediate springing into action to do whatever simple little thing you asked of them?

Riiiiight. Mine didn't either. Unless, of course, your kids DID. In that case then, so did mine! Ha!

It seems that there are a lot of people out there making excuses for the behavior of children. And, armed with said excuses, the adults in the relationships then feel compelled to allow certain behaviors to go...undisciplined. From what I've witnessed, the children of these enablers run a muck in public and purposefully ignore any requests of their parents to stop. Not that that many of these parents are asking their kids to stop anyway.

Excuses include
  • they're just kids. (No shit kidding. And they need direction.) 
  • they're just expressing themselves. (Really? And you allow that to the point of totally disrespecting others?)
  • they're learning. (Learning what? How to be obnoxious and rude? They don't learn if you don't teach.)
  • they're still developing. (I'm aware. They still need to know the rules.)
  • they don't feel heard. (Give me a break. Nobody is going to listen to yelling and screaming.)
  • they're human. (Human monsters without direction.)
Y'all know what I think the problem is? The parents. That's what the problem is.

Yes, I do believe there are reasons behind the behaviors of children. But, with little kids, I'm pretty much of the belief that a lack of guidance and discipline (NOT spanking...discipline is guiding, directing, teaching) is the problem that leads us to having to delve into the reasons for their bad behavior as they age.

Am I an expert? No. I've merely raised four daughters and hold an MS in early childhood development. I have opinions. But I am NOT an expert. I am an observer who is able to put two and two together.

In our house, the lovelies listened most of the time. They had their stubborn moments and there were times when I let it go and times when I didn't. It's not like I was a dictator and expected them to stand at attention just because I walked into a room.

  • I wanted them to be respectful but not door mats.
  • I wanted them to express themselves but so that people would listen rather than tune them out.
  • I wanted them to have their own opinions but to respect the right of others to have their own as well.

I tried to teach them a 'giveandtake' attitude instead of the 'TAKE' attitude I see nowadays. There's a sense of entitlement among the little ones today. And I don't mind telling them that they are simply no more important than anyone else in the world.

Like I always told the lovelies, "Your dad and I love you more than anyone else in the world. We think y'all are 'all that and a bag of chips.' HOWEVER, that is within our walls. Outside of these home walls, no one thinks of you that way. They think that way about THEIR kids."

The lovelies knew not to go out there believing that they were better than everyone else or more important.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to hold my tongue when I go out to shop and see these children running around with their false sense of entitlement.

Are you seeing anything like this where you live?


  1. Yep I do and it drives me completely nuts. Now that mine are grown. I feel like I can say things like you just did because what we did worked. I am glad you have noticed that same thing in your parenting.
    What I see now days is people are just too lazy to make their kids mind. It is work but it is so nice to enjoy them as adults now. Great post.

  2. Yes, I'm seeing the same thing with kids here, and it makes me crazy!

    I agree, the parents are mostly to blame. It's like everyone is too lazy discipline anymore, and the end result is a bunch of out-of-control, bratty, selfish kids. Heaven help us all!

  3. Yes, sad.

    I, as a child, would have been punished if I had even thought of acting like this.

    I can remember crying children being taken outside at church. When they returned they were quiet as church mice.

    No more.

  4. Kim- I'm not sure whether it's laziness or stupidity. Either way, I've had enough. LOL

    Kathy- Amen! Though I am torn on the laziness issue. Do they not put their kids first anymore? Are they so wrapped up in their own agenda that they don't care what their kids are doing?

    Gail- Misbehavior seems to be the rule nowadays for certain.

  5. Constantly. And I think we are into the second generation of the problem. Too many parents feel entitled, also. You hit the nail directly on the head. Sad, but true.

  6. Terri- I think you're right about the parents having that same sense of entitlement. But where in the world did they get it and can they not outgrow it? Sheesh.

  7. Yes, it is everywhere. I agree with Terri about it being a second generation problem. Frankly, I don't see it getting better. When you have people who feel entitled (who don't have boundaries or understand them) in charge of guiding children you are only going to get worse than the one doing the guiding. A person cannot pass on what they do not know. If they don't understand boundaries and limits, they certainly will not be able to pass this down to their children. This is going to snowball badly.

  8. Robin- I can't figure out how the parents don't seem to be able to see this themselves. This is where I think stupidity comes into play. Though I guess it's more ignorance.

  9. Everywhere. Many parents really don't understand what they need to do. They hover, they don't let their kids make decisions for themselves, they don't let the kids experiment and make mistakes. They don't teach them the proper way to behave or handle a situation. I do not get annoyed with a child's behavior or the parent if I see the parent jump in and do something to teach the child. However, if a child is being rude, out of control, disrespectful, etc, and the parent makes an excuse or doesn't do anything to change the behavior, I do.

  10. coop- I'm the very same way. And I'm about to voice my opinion. Loudly. LOL

  11. I have no idea what you are talking about, I see perfect angels today (you read that dripping with sarcasm,right?)
    I think we get a little easier with each generation, I am sure my parents thought we were a tad too easy but holy moly could you imagine someone popping in from like the 16th century, now that would be a hoot :)

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality


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