Friday, June 16, 2017

We All Have Worth

How often do the words we speak and the actions we show devalue another person be it inadvertently or not? Human beings can do more lasting damage with our words than almost anything else at our disposal. We open our mouths and before we know it we've made someone feel useless. undesirable, unworthy of our time or effort, like less than human, like they have no meaning and bring nothing to this life.

It happens every day from the highest positions of power in our country to the everyday life of a small child. Many of us do not stop to think before we open our big fat mouths, do we? The simplest word can make someone else feel devalued. Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it's to make ourselves feel better or bigger, sometimes it's an accident. Does it really matter why? No, because once it's out there, you cannot take it back. The damage is done immediately and deeply and usually, it lasts a lifetime.

Making others feel unworthy can be done using our body language or tone of voice. I can some words that aren't damaging to someone but said with a nasty tone of voice, it becomes obvious the words are not truthful. The tone sinks the heart of the listener and trust becomes an issue.

What can we do to put forth a concerted effort not to make others feel unworthy? (STOP timer but I'm going on)

  1. Be a student of others. Take the time to get to know the people in our lives. Just taking the time to do this makes them feel valued, wanted, worthy. 
  2. Develop a heart of kindness. I know quite a few kind people and I have yet to hear an unkind, devaluing word uttered from their mouths.
  3. Spend time with the people in your life. Let them know they are worthy of your time and effort. That they have someone on whom they can depend to listen and share and laugh and love. 
  4. Keep a close watch on our mouths. When we take the time to know others around us we must be careful not to use what we know against them. 
  5. Do not fall into the 'he said it to me so I'll say it to him' trap. If someone else chooses to try and devalue you, that does not mean you need to give it back to them. Rise above, y'all. Don't fight back and kill them with kindness are good ideas. 
  6.  Don't sit back and watch someone devalue another person. Step in and step up. Coming to the defense of the one being devalued doesn't mean we have to stoop to a lower level. We can do it with determination and firmness and it will make a huge difference to the one being devalued. They will realize they do have worth. 
  7. Don't believe your worth is dependent on the views of others. It really does not matter what others think. We are worthy, we have value on our own not because we are or do what someone else wants us to be or do (it has taken me three decades to realize this). If you are in a toxic relationship, get out. If you cannot find a way out, seek help.  
  8. Do not make assumptions. Remember, we do not know the whole story and assuming we do can lead to all sorts of wrong words and actions. Don't assume everyone will ask for help. Some people do not feel worthy of help or are embarrassed to ask for it. 
  9. Do not be afraid to ask if someone needs help. People have caused great harm to themselves because no one bothered to ask a simple question. 
  10. Care more about others than we do about ourselves. Or at least care as much. It seems the people who care more about others than they do about themselves are surrounded by people who care equally about them. It's much more healthy to build one another up than to try and destroy their feelings of worth. 
Some of us live with people who devalue us for decades and survive. Others are not so lucky. Let's keep an eye out for these souls in an effort to reach out and offer help. 

This post is linked to Five Minute Friday where we write for five minutes about the prompt without stopping.

The prompt this week is WORTH.

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  1. Excellent Post. Well said and Amen!!

    1. Thank you so much, Cathy! Will you be seeing that sweet grandson this weekend?

  2. So many good reminders here. My biggest struggle is choosing my words with my kids and trying to remember how my off-hand comments might sound to them.

    1. I remember those days and I have to say there were times when I failed miserably. They're all grown up now and they still love me so I guess it wasn't that awful. :) It's hard to remember when we're tired or upset.

  3. So true- our words are powerful and we need to think carefully about how we use them. I like the tips you share. Visiting from FMF #9.

    1. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful weekend!

  4. Bloody oath, well said another great post that I so liked


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