Saturday, July 9, 2011

Freaking Frustration Hurdles

Do you ever watch movies that have older men in them who are not in the greatest shape but don't seem to care?  Is that just a man thing?  Because I'm not like that and I don't have any friends like that female friends anyway.  But wouldn't it be nice to just let it all go and be whomever we are without concern about how we look?  Yeah, that would be nice.  But it's not realistic.  At least it isn't realistic for me.

I've secluded myself to an extent because of the excess weight.  I've missed out on some things and others, well, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed them even if I had my 20something body back.  The point is, however, that I have avoided some social situations due to the weight issue. 

The good news is that I have made some decisions that seem to be permanent...this time.  But I can completely understand how people get so frustrated that they give up.  It's a constant struggle and we, as humans, do get tired.  And a daily battle is exhausting.  Especially when the dang scale seems to move so much slower going down than up.  Which means we add waiting to the equation and proceed to get tired of that also.

Oh and goodness me!  Let's NOT forget that annoyingashell little inner voice to whom we give permission to say things to us like: "Are you kidding?  This is too hard.  Just stay the way you are. It's so much easier to leave well enough alone."  It will even remind us from time to time that we can't do this anyway or it's taking too long that it just isn't going to happen or consider your AGE...anything to make us believe losing weight is nothing less than an insurmountable obstacle. 

And that's just what some of us do to ourselves.  It's a fight all the way to the finish whether we battle ourselves or others who are not exactly supportive.  This time, I am determined to fight it all the way.  There is some frustration here but I have not given up.  I have not succumbed.  I have stuck to my plan.  I may very well be more stubborn than that annoyingashell inner voice of mine.  And I believe that I will be frustrating my frustration instead of it frustrating me. (Yeah, I know.  But you know what I mean).

So I will continue to walk hand-in-hand with daily walking, daily Pilates (this was created in hell, wasn't it?), daily recording of caloric intake, daily drinking of the water and I'll even walk with the frustration and inner negativity---but the latter two?  I plan to kick their asses.


  1. You know the saying..."anything worth having is worth working for"
    My saying is: WHY DOES IT TAKE SO MUCH WORK!
    So tell your "annoyingashell little inner voice" where to go ;)
    I think you have more grit to get it done than that "voice"!

  2. not a week goes by that i don't voice frustrations to my husband about my progress. i see others losing more weight quicker than me and i just want to explode.

    hang in there! you are doing great. and stop missing out!!!! i enjoy your blog so much and i think 'she must be a blast in person'. and i bet your friends are really bummed when you miss out on social occasions.

    As you've shown us recently, life is far too precious and can be too short. and to squander this precious gift by giving into insecurities...well, that's just a shame. Get out there and live your life! fat or no fat you owe it to yourself to live your best and happiest life! you only get the one, ya know.


    p.s. damn those men and their high metabolisms and lack of insecurity!

  3. I have such a battle...
    The other day I told my husband that maybe having IBS is God's way of helping me change my eating habits. The last flare was so horrible that I'm trying to change the way I eat all the time, not just when I'm having problems...maybe that will reduce the severity of the flares. You would think I would lose more weight...

  4. So very many of us know this frustration only too well, so you are not alone. I think you're doing an outstanding job and it will get the results you want if you stick with it!

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  6. I've been avoiding social situations too and all I"m doing with that is avoiding my life. Chance are my weight is only a problem to me. People that love me and want to spend time with me do it regardless of my weight. We cannot let our weight issue control our lives. We need to spend time with those we love now not "weight" until the weight comes off ;o).

    Get out there and have fun!!!

  7. I admire your determination!

    I am less inclined to attend events because of my changes. The last time I went to one, someone asked, When did you get so damn old? That really encouraged me to get out more.

    Many think my husband is now single because I only go out when I am sure I'll see no one from my past. I don't want any of them to drop dead over the extreme changes from high school.

    I have too much work to do to have an exercise program. I walk, I lift, I move...isn't that an exercise program?

    Also, I lifted two cupcakes from pan to mouth last night that Andrew brought home from a I have my lifting done for today!

    I do think there is a double standard for the condition of men and women. It is widely accepted here for men to appear pregnant, but if a woman's belly is extended she better have a large tumor or be carrying a child.

  8. My boyfriend is one of "those guys". Though Ive told him the weight struggles I've had over the years, I find I hold back on details because I don't want to give him the evil "inner voice". I asked him once if he ever thinks about his weight as an issue and he said "No, not really" without hesitation.. I know not all men are like that -- my brother for example is quite opposite and despises his weight but who knows how one gets such a nonchalant attitude while others fall into the negative self image..

  9. I really do admire you tremendously for really sticking with it. As you say, sometimes it feels just like a fight every day and you probably think, "you know what. Life is too short for all this!" Anyway, you go girl. You know that we're all behind you every step of the way. Be Proud!

  10. I really do admire you tremendously for really sticking with it. As you say, sometimes it feels just like a fight every day and you probably think, "you know what. Life is too short for all this!" Anyway, you go girl. You know that we're all behind you every step of the way. Be Proud!

  11. I had written a whole paragraph and lost it by "service unavailable".
    You are my inspiration! Keep up the good work.


  12. I think you are my 'girl of the summer'. I have been really amazed at your determination to lose the weight and stick to your plan. I hope you don't mind, but the other day, while reading a post from Canadian Girl, I mentioned you and your weight loss. She is having some personal issues and one of them is her weight. I told her she should check out your blog because you're really inspiring with what you're doing, heck you ake me want to get out there and work my buns off, even if I don't have a weight issue. You go girl, you da' best!

  13. I can relate to what you're saying on many levels. The weight itself had kept me from doing a lot. Now the physical impairments keep me from doing things with others because I don't want to be a damper on them. I can't walk hardly, I can't climb stairs, I can't sit on anything without a back for long, I certainly can't stand in one place for more than 5 minutes, so why would I want to bring others down when they want to go places that require this stuff? Getting old suck!

  14. Keep on kickin' butt! You are doing fabulously. I'm impressed with your determination to succeed this time - forever. My journey began a year ago with intent than to eat healthier. By Christmas I was down almost 40 pounds. But I never felt like I was on a 'diet'. I had managed to change my eating habits. I see that's where you are going, too. I'm almost at 50 now. My knee is so happy.

  15. I have had two ahh moments when it comes to this topic. My husband's grandmother was getting ready to celebrate her 90th birthday. She asked me if I thought she should have a bit of plastic surgery on her eyelids. I was so shocked because at the time I thought, " At 90 will I care how I look?" I told her if it would make her feel better to go ahead. She also got her teeth bleached. :)
    My Mom's Mom is still alive and she just turned 100. Her life is filled with problem after problem.
    It dawned on me, I will never get to that place where I will be problem free. Not even at 100
    So I decided to keep on living one day at a time. It has helped too.
    Yes, I will loose weight even if it is 6 oz at a time.
    Thanks for being real.

  16. Cindy- I know the saying and I appreciate your saying better!

    Kelly- You are such an inspiration to me! I am forever gaining courage from your words! I tend to have the social functions at our house whenever I can so that I don’t miss out. But there have been times when I didn’t go because I was afraid my butt was too dang big for the seats! But you speak with wisdom and truth. So, the next invitation I get, I will go!

    Laura- I cannot even imagine having to deal with the weight issue and a medical condition. I think that the weight in your case will be the icing on the cake! Getting the IBS under control is a must and I believe that nutrition will help with that!

    Desiree-I plan on sticking with it! And so far, with kind encouragement from wonderful friends like you, it has been easier!

    Natasha- You are so right- the people who love us do want to spend time with us…regardless! Now, if I can just convince my inner voice of that fact…LOL

    Gail- And determination is what it’s going to take! I love your lifting the two cupcakes from the pan! Hilarious! But, YES! Everything that you do on the farm is, without a doubt, considered exercise! And thank you for the laugh about the men vs women belly! LOL

    Carbie- Hubs doesn’t care what he looks like and, so far, he hasn’t said anything to me about mine issues. However, he’s not very supportive when it comes to food choices that he brings into the house. He will stop at the store on the way home and bring in ice cream and cookies and chips…but I have NOT eaten a single morsel! I am constantly fighting that inner voice that makes me feel so inferior and negative.

    This- Thank you! What I appreciate are the kind and encouraging comments from friends like you!

    Susan- I hate it when that happens. Thank you so much! I’m keeping it up so far!

    Alessandra- I certainly do not mind one bit! Feel free to share- if my words can’t help, then maybe someone else’s can! When I get finished, I won’t have a weight issue anymore either! And I’m so looking forward to that day! Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.

    Barb- Weight will keep us from doing many things. Some due to not being comfortable and some because we just can’t. I cannot even imagine having to deal with health issues on top of the weight. You are such an inspiration! You have such difficult medical issues and yet you always keep a positive attitude and are always reaching out to help and encourage everyone else! I hope you get down here or I get up that way some day- we could sit on the beach and have a grand time talking!

    Stephanie- Thank you so much! Your continued support and encouragement have meant so much! And WOW! You are doing GREAT! And, yes, changing the eating habits has made all the difference. I just have to stay away from the homemade oatmeal raisin cookies at Christmas! LOL

    Kim- You know, that’s exactly right. Even if it’s 6 oz at a time, just do it! Hubs’ grandmother passed away 3 years ago at 103 and she looked fabulous! She never stopped- she said that if you sit down, you get rusty! LOL But she was right! And she didn’t carry excess weight around with her either. So, one day at a time is great advice!

    Betty- Thank you! That inner voice got me after I lost 83 pounds and then gained it all back. This time, no way will I gain it back after I lose it. I had to get disgusted with myself but, once I did, the changes were easier and the weight started coming off---even though it’s slow, it’s moving and the movement is down as opposed to up!

  17. I know exactly what you mean! I am in a moment of contemplating giving up. So very tired of being disappointed in my body. It just never looks like i think it does in my head. I am shocked at every photo or glance in the mirror! Arg!

  18. I so often wish i could be happy in whatever my skin looked like, but a few pounds and i feel it and i loathe it and my inner demons start whispering in my ear. I've been on the heavy side and the too light side and not matter what side i've been on, i've struggle. Good luck on kicking those demons to the curb, I'm trying to do the same.

  19. We have to love ourselves Pam. No matter the size. It doesn't mean not getting to the bester healthier self but we have to lose who we are. I took me until just a few short months ago to learn this. It doesn't mean we except what we are, it just means we know for us, because we loves us, that we want better for us and that is what you have to work towards. It's hard, never ever easy but it is well worth all the effort. Diets, life style changes get so darn boring. Before my changes food was so varied, so tasty, so exciting but the low calorie, low carb, low everything isn't as exciting but to have the body I have craved for so long makes it all worth while. I still have a ways to go in the toning part but do love what I've done for me. You too can do this. Keep up the great work. Keep writing these terrific post.
    Take care and God Bless!!

  20. Your determination to persevere is admirable and I'm sure that you're going to make it. But isn't it a pity that doctors won't prescribe a friendly tapeworm!


  21. Brenda Susan- I am no longer shocked by photos of myself just disgusted. Which may have helped me with the determination right now. Stick with it- you'll be glad you did!

    thrasher- Those darned demons in our ears! We have GOT to get them under control and NOW! We can do this!

    Julie- I know but it's easier said than done. I don't feel this way about other people, just myself. I am my own worse critic--which is fine if it's productive and constructive...but it rarely is those things.

    Jane- Wouldn't that be something?! LOL thanks!


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