Thursday, April 4, 2013

DO's and DON'Ts

I have a list of DO's and DON'Ts (the discussion about the correct spelling of DOs and DON'Ts could be a blog post in and of itself...who knew???) when it comes to living in an empty nest.

It's a sort of long list but, in the spirit of the A-Z Challenge, I'm keeping is short:
  • DO expect to be hit between the eyes even though you have prepared yourself for the inevitability. 
  • DO take on a hobby or two. They will keep your mind occupied and help you not get too deep in the initial shock and/or sadness.
  • DO realize that it's ok to put yourself first. They're out and living their lives- get out there and life yours. It's a brand new day!
  • DO celebrate an empty nest as success! After all, if you hadn't done such a great job raising them, they wouldn't be able to get out there and live their lives.
  • DO take on those jobs/ideas/etc that you kept putting off while you were busy raising the kids.
  • DO go out to lunch with friends or all by yourself. 
  • DO continue or start exercising. It will make all the difference!
  • DO volunteer somewhere. Anywhere.
  • DON'T- let any sadness go too far. Recognize it for what it is, deal with it and let it go. If you can't, it's ok, it's just time to let someone help you.
  • DON'T forget that you're not in this alone.
  • DON'T ignore your feelings. Let them out so you can deal with them.
  • DON'T be afraid to try new things. 
  • DON'T avoid the memories- let them flow. Eventually, they will bring a smile instead of tears.
  • DON'T hesitate to ask for help if you need it. There is no shame in needing or receiving help.

I'm linking this post to the fourth post of the April, A-Z Challenge!

Just click the badge below to visit more participants. 

Ok, let's see what y'all came up with for the letter 'D'!


  1. wow--i loved these dos and don'ts--some great wisdom here :)

  2. Lynn- Great wisdom? Wow- thanks! I've never been accused of possessing that before. LOL Just a few lessons learned. :)

  3. Very good list. Our youngest moved out in October and our oldest is in her 3rd year of college. Of course, at the moment we have a friend and her baby who are living with us. So our empty next lasted about 2 months. But it should happen again soon. I'll keep your list in mind. I have already gotten more involved in a hobby. And hubby and I are taking time to do things together, like take walks or go out and eat, etc.

  4. Cathy- Sounds like you've already started preparing yourself, which is good. But it may still smack you right between the eyes. It did me. LOL Our baby graduates from college Mother's Day weekend. In less than one month, everyone will be out of college. I can't believe it!

  5. Ha ha ha great post honey!

    Just stopping by from the A-Z List :) Good luck with the rest of the challenge!


  6. You nailed this one and I love that you remind people to reach out for help and to discuss your feelings, too many times we tend to stuff them away.

  7. vikki- Thanks. I need the luck- haven't gotten past 'G'. LOL

    Lucy- I tend to do that myself. Luckily, I have close friends with whom I can talk. And, to be honest, the blog helped me a lot!

  8. So true every last one of them!

  9. Jen- Thanks! I never quite realized an empty nest would be such an adjustment since I thought I had prepared myself so well.

  10. I think those are all excellent suggestions. People get so caught up in their kids' lives that they forget how to live their own. It is a starting over. Definitely.

  11. JP- Thank you! :)

    Joyce- Thanks! :)

    Robin- Thanks! I was one of those who got caught up in their lives, but it was because it was their turn. I soon remembered the things I wanted to do. And the alone time has become my absolute favorite! :)

  12. Good Post! Thanks for the advice, still not empty nesting it yet, but it's right around the corner!!

  13. Very good list, and very well put.
    I'm vaguely aware that our nest will empty though we've a few years to go. Sad is about the only thing I feel when I think about it, so I need to work on that!

  14. Totally agree, the fact that they're out of the house means you did a good job, and they're not screwed up. :)

  15. Good post...I am looking forward to your A-Z challenge. I'm taking this one off, it was quite the job last year, lol!

  16. Cathrina- Thanks! It's amazing how quickly it comes.

    Mimi- Thanks! It's ok to feel sad, just don't let it over take you.

    Alessandra- Yep! At least that's what I'm going with. LOL

    Sush- Thanks! It is quite a job this year. Seems I was way more organized the last two times I tried this.

  17. As a re-empty nester as of last summer, those are some great ideas. I have finally allowed myself to start living MY life and enjoying some time with my husband since we started married life with a ready made family!

    Laura @ The Sweet Simple Things

  18. This is a very good list. I will come back to it as I am tired of spending half of my time crying.
    I told my hubby this morning what happens if I start crying and I can't stop?
    I think I will tattoo this list on my arms. :) You made it so can I, I think I can...I think I can. :)


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