Monday, June 4, 2018

Saying YES to the Dress

The whole finding the dress thing is not for sissies. It's a process that goes by quickly for some and not so quickly for others.

When ArtistDaughter got married she knew what she wanted, drew the dress, gave it to Mother who made a pattern and then the dress. When AthleticTrainerDaughter got married, she found her dress at our next to last stop on our first day out. NashvilleDaughter hasn't been quite so lucky in the speedy quick finding of the dress. But she has found it.

When you're nine hours away from your daughter who is planning a wedding you find ways to 'be there' without being there. This is where you become quite grateful for technology. Especially when she's trying on wedding gowns.

This girl looked all over the place in Nashville, around Nashville, Atlanta, and even thought she might have to fly out to California as well as come home to look. The good news is, she found her dress. The bad news is, she won't need to come to Charleston to look. Ha!

I have to say this about the places she visited in Nashville- the buildings themselves were incredible. I love old, exposed brick and rustic design and that's just what you get if you're shopping for a wedding dress in Nashville. She sent hundreds of photos of each dress and we could see the building interiors in those shots. So nice! And I heard the girls helping her were amazing which is great because I don't have to let someone have it next time I get up there. Ha!

My advice to looking for the dress when mom can't be there?
  • Take several friends with you. And make sure they're honest. They need to be able to let you know when a dress is lovely but maybe not that flattering on you. There are nice ways to do this and you want to know, trust me. Let them help you with the pros and cons of each dress.
  • Take loads of pictures from every angle possible and spin for the videos. I'm not kidding when I say you can't take/send too many pictures/videos. This makes you feel your long distance family is close and it makes us feel a part of the process. We loved every single one of the 5 gazillion photos/videos we got. 
  • Take your time. If you find your dress on the first try, great! If you have to try on 150 dresses, also great! The thing is, take your time and find YOUR dress. 
  • Try on several different styles. Sometimes, what we think will look good on us doesn't OR something we thought would never look good on us, does. You never know for sure until you try it so try on what you like and what you don't like as well as several different styles.
  • Don't settle. If you feel you're in a time crunch or feel pressure from others about the dress search going on too long, stop feeling that way. Take a break and go back in a week or two. If NashvilleDaughter had stopped before that last dress (no it didn't take 100 but she was darn close to it), she would not have been completely happy with it. 
  • Take your time. I know I mentioned it before but it's important. 
  • Don't get discouraged. Try on as many dresses as you need to. YOUR dress is out there and not everyone will find it the first time out. There is no such thing as trying on too many dresses when searching for the right one for you. Plus, trying on wedding dresses can be a lot of fun. 
  • Try not to have a stroke when you see the cost. Seriously, they do cost a whole lotta bucks when your grandmother is no longer around to make the dress or you don't get lucky and want a short dress. Yet another good reason to try on 100 dresses if that's what it takes.  
  • Moms and Dads, if you're paying for the wedding let her have the dress SHE wants. You're very generous but that doesn't mean you should dictate what she wears or which venue or caterer or who gets invited. Regardless of who's paying, it's THEIR wedding. Not yours. That doesn't mean you can't make suggestions. Just make sure they aren't unsolicited suggestions.
  • Trust your gut and don't be talked into something especially if your mom isn't there to run interference for you. If you're unsure, it's. not.your. dress.
  • If you don't live close but your daughter's future mother-in-law does, make sure she's invited along. Especially if she loves your girl the way Nashville's future MIL loves mine. You'll know for sure someone has her back. Also, DrummerBoy's mom only has sons so getting to do some girl stuff is even more fun! (LOVE you Susie!)
I've probably left a few things out but my mind is now on photographers. I'll be talking about those contracts soon. Contracts. UGH.   

How long did it take you or your daughter to find THE dress?

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  1. The first time I knew what I wanted and found it right away. I look back now and it was horrible! Why didn't someone tell me I wasn't Scarlett O'Hara?
    The second time, I had no idea. I looked around in our native New Hampshire, Massachusetts, etc. noting! But then had a trip to Ft. Lauderdale, and that is where I found it. I had no one with me, but I knew. I love lace, and this dress was all lace. It was also modest for the church and then I could slip the neck/sleeves down to uncover my shoulders at the reception. I still love that dress.

    1. Scarlett O'Hara...LOL Oh goodness! Sounds like the second one was simply perfect, though! :)

  2. My daughter found it in the first store on the second day of looking. It was the second dress she tried on that day and she broke down bawling with joy. It was THE.DRESS.

    1. Don't you love it when they find THEIR DRESS? My first two didn't have much trouble at all but this one...we're all different. LOL I'm glad she's found it and we have it checked off our list. :)

  3. We have boys. I worked in the wedding (cake) business for four years and can tell you there were more bride's mom-zillas than bridezillas. Moms should basically just bug out unless asked (as you stated above). Glad she found her dress and can't wait to see it!!

    1. Oh, I know!Those moms can be horrid! I'm glad, too. The boys are easier during wedding planning, aren't they? LOL

  4. Hooray on finding the dress!! Great suggestions.

  5. Very good advise and congrats to your daughter for finding the dress.

  6. When I got married I had three dress belonging to aunts to chose from, my wedding was done on a shoestring budget

    1. I feel like weddings and funerals are such rackets for people to make big money. But my girls love a wedding so it's a wedding they get. LOL

  7. I am so glad she found her dress. That is always so important. Very good advice of course, but being finished now. It won't be for me anymore. I guess I can wait for Grand daughters. :) Weird, I only have boys left. You come up with the nicest lists.

    1. Shouldn't you be tired of it by now? LOL I'm kidding. I'm glad she found it, too. It took her a while but she was determined to find it. Thank you, Kim. How are you keeping up with your travelers?

  8. It's absolutely perfect for her! Funny thing is, it's already a perfect fit. :) The wedding is May so we have a year but this is my kid who has to have everything ready and set from the beginning. LOL Thank you!


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